You Want One Hundred What?
- David becomes BFFs with Saul's son, Jonathan, as Saul becomes more and more jealous of David's popularity.
- Eventually, Saul becomes anxious and paranoid that David will take the throne from him. We're not saying Saul is right, but Saul is right (1-9).
- One day, as David is playing his lyre for Saul, the king snaps and throws two spears at David.
- Thankfully, the young shepherd boy who would be king is as agile as a ninja and avoids the spears. He flees for his life and Saul becomes afraid because now he knows the spirit of God is with David.
- As what we assume is a part-apology, part-evil plan, Saul makes David commander of the Israelite army (10-16).
- Saul remembers that David was promised one of his daughters' hands in marriage because he slew Goliath. Originally, David was to get Merab, but Saul tells David he's not good enough to be a royal son-in-law. This cuts David deep (17-19).
- Saul discovers his daughter Michal (yes, daughter, we checked) loves David.
- So Saul tells David that if he brings the king one hundred foreskins, David can marry Michal. Some dowry.
- However weird this is, David does as the king asked, much to his chagrin. Now Saul can't harm David through his daughter.
- Now to the real question... what does one do with one hundred foreskins? (20-30)