Family Quotes in Divergent
How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
When I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as an outsider, I think it's beautiful. When I watch my family move in harmony; when we go to dinner parties and everyone cleans together afterward without having to be asked; when I see Caleb help strangers carry their groceries, I fall in love with this life all over again. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels genuine.
But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently. (3.36-7)
This book does not waste time with the whole family vs. identity vs. faction conflict, which Tris lays out nicely here. Notice the movement: (a) my family and faction are beautiful to (b) I don't belong here. That's not a great transition; and she experiences this disappointment of not belonging "all over again."
Quote #2
"See you soon," he says. Without a trace of doubt.
My mother hugs me, and what little resolve I have left almost breaks. I clench my jaw and stare up at the ceiling, where globe lanterns hang and fill the room with blue light. She holds me for what feels like a long time, even after I let my hands fall. Before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what." (5.15-6)
We tend to talk about family as if everyone in the family thinks the same way about things. But check out this pre-Choosing Ceremony interaction Tris has with Dad and Mom: Dad is all "I know you're going to choose Abnegation (because I'm not very observant)," while Mom is all "Even if you betray the family, I'll still love you and understand." Families aren't always united. And they're definitely not always on the same page.
Quote #3
Maybe my problem isn't that I can't go home. I will miss my mother and father and Caleb and evening firelight and the clack of my mother's knitting needles, but that is not the only reason for this hollow feeling in my stomach.
My problem might be that even if I did go home, I wouldn't belong there, among people who give without thinking and care without trying. (7.122-3)
See how family and "identity" overlap: Tris may miss her family, but she feels that she doesn't belong there. In other words, her identity doesn't match up with her family. But check out how vividly she describes the pleasures of her old home—"evening firelight," the sound of knitting needles. She may not belong in that family (she thinks), but she sure misses it.
Quote #4
"Attention!" he announces, flicking a lock of dark hair from his eyes. "I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you..." He scans our faces and smirks. "...which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?" (15.4)
Surprise, surprise—Eric being a jerk. Seriously, how many times in this book does he "smirk" or smile cruelly? Does he have no normal facial expressions? But what really caught our eye about this quote was that "faction before blood" phrase. Why "blood" instead of "family"? Is it because your faction is supposed to become your family? Do the semantics matter here?
Quote #5
I run my fingers through my hair and smooth it into a bun. I check my clothes—am I covered up? My pants are tight and my collarbone is showing. They won't approve.
Who cares if they approve? I set my jaw. This is my faction now. These are the clothes my faction wears. I stop just before the hallway ends.
Clusters of families stand on the Pit floor, most of them Dauntless families with Dauntless initiates. They still look strange to me—a mother with a pierced eyebrow, a father with a tattooed arm, an initiate with purple hair, a wholesome family unit. I spot Drew and Molly standing alone at one end of the room and suppress a smile. At least their families didn't come. (15.13-5)
Yes, Drew and Molly's families don't show up. In fact, we don't get to meet the families of lots of the jerks and villains in the book. It's a rare moment where she has something in common with them—absent families.
Quote #6
Scrubbing the floor when no one else wanted to was something that my mother would have done. If I can't be with her, the least I can do is act like her sometimes. (17.3)
After spending several chapters defying her family and their influence on her, here Tris is, after doing something her mother would do because it makes her feel better. This is after Edward was stabbed in the eye, so it makes sense that she would want to return to the non-stabby ways of her family.
Quote #7
I laugh a little. "Calm down? Calm down? That's my family they're talking about, that's my faction!"
"No, it's not." There are dark circles under his eyes; he looks exhausted. "It's your old faction, and there's nothing you can do about what they say, so you might as well just ignore it." (19.18-9)
Will prevents Tris from fighting with Molly and Peter. Molly's been lying to the Erudite newspaper about how terribly abused Tris was by her family, so naturally Tris wants to attack. But think of it this way: Tris were a good Abnegation member, would she want to attack? Probably not; so, by attacking, Tris shows how far she's traveled from the family that she wants to protect.
Quote #8
At home I used to spend calm, pleasant nights with my family. My mother knit scarves for the neighborhood kids. My father helped Caleb with his homework. There was a fire in the fireplace and peace in my heart, as I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, and everything was quiet.
I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free. (19.72-3)
Tris remembers, once again, how nice things were in the Abnegation household—firelight, knitting, family, reading A Game of Thrones. But now she's realizing that Dauntless has some awesome stuff to offer, too. She's starting to enjoy her Dauntless friendships—being carried, laughing, being surrounded by people, watching Game of Thrones on HBO. Has friendship replaced family?
Quote #9
Marcus shows us his hands. A belt is curled around one of his fists. Slowly he unwinds it from his fingers. (25.120)
Not all families are alike. There's Tris's loving family, and then there's Four's family: one kid, dead mother, abusive father who used to beat Four and imprison him in a small closet. Sure, Tris's family might feel wrong for her identity—but Four's family is bad for his health.
Quote #10
I stare at her. I sat next to her at the kitchen table, twice a day, for sixteen years, and never once did I consider the possibility that she could have been anything but Abnegation-born. How well did I actually know my mother? (35.25)
For Tris, a large part of growing up and getting her own identity is recognizing how her family members have their own identities. It starts with Caleb, who seems like the perfect kid, but who switches to the hated Erudite faction, and it goes on from there. Probably the most significant realization for Tris is this one, when she learns that her mom has her own identity and her own story.