Your Standard Treaty

Structurally, there's nothing at all unusual about the Treaty of Paris. It's just your standard treaty—almost as if the drafters Googled "how to write treaty" and copied off the first template that appeared in Images.

You start with the introduction, which lets everyone know that both sides are really into peace and they want to make it happen.

Next comes the individual articles, which state specific grievances. And there a whole bunch of different variations of these.

Some are reasons for fighting, like Article 1, which grants independence. Others are about how the two countries will be buddy-buddy, like Article 2, which establishes borders, or Article 8, which gives both sides access to the Mississippi. Others address specific aspects of the fallout of the war, like Articles 5 and 6, which tell the newly-minted Americans to play nice with the Loyalists.

How it Breaks Down

Introduction

In one corner, we have the King of England (and his surrogates). In the other corner, we have the representatives of some weird new country called the United States.

But there isn't going to be a fight to the death. These guys were fighting, but now they want to know how they can all get along.

Article 1: Independence

The United States is a free and independent country now. Sorry, Britain. Make yourself a nice cup of tea and watch some Great British Bake-Off to make yourselves feel better.

Article 2: Borders

Okay, so the U.S. is independent—but how big is it?

This article specifies that the northern border is pretty much what we know today on the east coast, the Mississippi River is the western border, and the northern border of Florida is the southern border.

Article 3: Fishing

Can the U.S. fish off the coast of Newfoundland? Yes. Yes it can. Salmon for everybody.

Article 4: Debt

Just because there was a war and now there's peace, that doesn't mean all debts are off. Everyone's got to act like a Lannister and pay up.

Article 5: Loyalists

Loyalists got a lot of their stuff taken away during the war. The U.S. should return that stuff as soon as possible.

Article 6: Loyalists, Part II

And there shouldn't be any future persecution of Loyalists after this is over. Be graceful winners, y'all.

Article 7: Peace

No more fighting (this should have been Article 1 or 2, if you ask us). Also, all prisoners and personal items should be returned to their rightful owners.

Article 8: The Mighty Mississipp'

Both sides get to use the Mississippi. Roommate rules.

Article 9: Allowing For Slow Mail

Look, it takes forever for news to travel in this era. It's entirely possible that there's still fighting. If any territory has changed hands between the Provisional Articles and now, it should be returned.

Article 10: Ratification

Both sides have six months to ratify the treaty.