King Lear: Act 1, Scene 5 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 1, Scene 5 of King Lear from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Lear, Kent in disguise, Gentleman, and Fool. LEAR, to Kent Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. Acquaint my daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you. 5 KENT I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter. He exits.	Lear tells Kent (disguised as Caius) to deliver a letter to Regan informing her that he's about to show up at her place. Yep, that makes two letters that are en route to Regan.
FOOL If a man’s brains were in ’s heels, were ’t not in danger of kibes? LEAR Ay, boy. 10 FOOL Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall not go slipshod. LEAR Ha, ha, ha! FOOL Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for, though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an 15 apple, yet I can tell what I can tell. LEAR What canst tell, boy? FOOL She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’ th’ middle on ’s face? 20 LEAR No. FOOL Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side ’s nose, that what a man cannot smell out he may spy into.	The Fool cracks some bizarre jokes, mostly about the wild ingratitude of Goneril and the fact that Lear's hope of escaping to Regan's loving arms is stupid, because Regan is likely as bad as Goneril.
LEAR I did her wrong. FOOL Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? 25 LEAR No. FOOL Nor I neither. But I can tell why a snail has a house. LEAR Why? FOOL Why, to put ’s head in, not to give it away to his 30 daughters and leave his horns without a case. LEAR I will forget my nature. So kind a father!—Be my horses ready? Gentleman exits.	Lear half-listens to him, but he can't get his mind off his one good daughter, Cordelia, who he seems to remember all of a sudden. "I did her wrong," Lear admits quietly. And then he says he wants to forget what he is. Still, overall, he thinks he was a good father.
FOOL Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty 35 reason. LEAR Because they are not eight. FOOL Yes, indeed. Thou wouldst make a good Fool. LEAR To take ’t again perforce! Monster ingratitude! FOOL If thou wert my Fool, nuncle, I’d have thee 40 beaten for being old before thy time. LEAR How’s that? FOOL Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.	The Fool continues with the jokes. His most pointed wisecrack is that Lear should be beaten for being old before his time. Lear is all, "Huh?", and the Fool points out that men should be wise before they get old. Translation: Lear has been acting like a foolish old man, not a wise old man.
LEAR O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven! 45 Keep me in temper. I would not be mad! Enter Gentleman. How now, are the horses ready? GENTLEMAN Ready, my lord. LEAR Come, boy. FOOL She that’s a maid now and laughs at my departure, 50 Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. They exit.	Lear is afraid he's getting senile and prays not to go mad...which is a really subtle hint from Shakespeare that just maybe, that's where Lear's headed.