Twelfth Night, or What You Will: Act 3, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 2 of Twelfth Night, or What You Will from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. ANDREW No, faith, I’ll not stay a jot longer. TOBY Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason. FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew. ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon 5 me. I saw ’t i’ th’ orchard. TOBY Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that. ANDREW As plain as I see you now. FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward 10 you. ANDREW ’Slight, will you make an ass o’ me? FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason. TOBY And they have been grand-jurymen since before 15 Noah was a sailor. FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and 20 with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north 25 of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor or policy. ANDREW An ’t be any way, it must be with valor, for 30 policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician. TOBY Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the Count’s youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall 35 take note of it, and assure thyself there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s commendation with woman than report of valor. FABIAN There is no way but this, Sir Andrew. ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him? 40 TOBY Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou “thou”-est him some thrice, it shall not be amiss, and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of 45 paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set ’em down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it. ANDREW Where shall I find you? 50 TOBY We’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go. Sir Andrew exits.	Back at Olivia's pad, Sir Andrew Aguecheek tells Fabian and Sir Toby Belch that he's out of there—Olivia's never going to marry him so he should just go home. In fact, Olivia seems to be after Duke Orsino's serving boy, "Cesario." Fabian tells Andrew that Olivia's just pretending to be into "Cesario" because she wants to make him jealous. Toby says Andrew should pick a sword fight with "Cesario" and kick "his" butt if he wants Olivia to respect him. He tells Andrew to write a mean and nasty note to "Cesario" so he can deliver the challenge to the "boy." He tells his pal to make it really mean and scary.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby. TOBY I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong or so. FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him. But you’ll 55 not deliver ’t? TOBY Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as 60 will clog the foot of a flea, I’ll eat the rest of th’ anatomy. FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.	Andrew runs off to write the letter and Fabian and Toby laugh at what a chump he is. Toby says he's been using Sir Andrew to fund his partying. Fabian asks Toby if he's really going to deliver the letter and Toby says of course. And Fabian should try to get "Cesario" to answer it, but Toby doubts anything will come of it. Andrew is a wimp and "Cesario" doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body.
Enter Maria. TOBY Look where the youngest wren of mine comes. 65 MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. 70 He’s in yellow stockings. TOBY And cross-gartered? MARIA Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a school i’ th’ church. I have dogged him like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter 75 that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll 80 smile and take ’t for a great favor. TOBY Come, bring us, bring us where he is. They all exit.	Maria enters and tells them to come quick: Malvolio's wearing yellow stockings and smiling like a fool (just like the forged letter instructed him to do). Olivia's going to think he's gone crazy. They run off to watch what happens.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.

ANDREW No, faith, I’ll not stay a jot longer.

TOBY Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.

FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.

ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the
Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon 5
me. I saw ’t i’ th’ orchard.

TOBY Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me
that.

ANDREW As plain as I see you now.

FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward 10
you.

ANDREW ’Slight, will you make an ass o’ me?

FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of
judgment and reason.

TOBY And they have been grand-jurymen since before 15
Noah was a sailor.

FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight
only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse
valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in
your liver. You should then have accosted her, and 20
with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint,
you should have banged the youth into dumbness.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was
balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let
time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north 25
of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an
icicle on a Dutchman’s beard, unless you do redeem
it by some laudable attempt either of valor or
policy.

ANDREW An ’t be any way, it must be with valor, for 30
policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a
politician.

TOBY Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis
of valor. Challenge me the Count’s youth to fight
with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall 35
take note of it, and assure thyself there is no
love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s
commendation with woman than report of valor.

FABIAN There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him? 40

TOBY Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and
brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent
and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of
ink. If thou “thou”-est him some thrice, it shall not
be amiss, and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of 45
paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
bed of Ware in England, set ’em down. Go, about it.
Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.

ANDREW Where shall I find you? 50

TOBY We’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.

Sir Andrew exits.

Back at Olivia's pad, Sir Andrew Aguecheek tells Fabian and Sir Toby Belch that he's out of there—Olivia's never going to marry him so he should just go home. In fact, Olivia seems to be after Duke Orsino's serving boy, "Cesario."

Fabian tells Andrew that Olivia's just pretending to be into "Cesario" because she wants to make him jealous.

Toby says Andrew should pick a sword fight with "Cesario" and kick "his" butt if he wants Olivia to respect him. He tells Andrew to write a mean and nasty note to "Cesario" so he can deliver the challenge to the "boy." He tells his pal to make it really mean and scary.

FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.

TOBY I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
strong or so.

FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him. But you’ll 55
not deliver ’t?

TOBY Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on
the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were
opened and you find so much blood in his liver as 60
will clog the foot of a flea, I’ll eat the rest of th’
anatomy.

FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage
no great presage of cruelty.

Andrew runs off to write the letter and Fabian and Toby laugh at what a chump he is. Toby says he's been using Sir Andrew to fund his partying.

Fabian asks Toby if he's really going to deliver the letter and Toby says of course. And Fabian should try to get "Cesario" to answer it, but Toby doubts anything will come of it. Andrew is a wimp and "Cesario" doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body.

Enter Maria.

TOBY Look where the youngest wren of mine comes. 65

MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves
into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly
can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. 70
He’s in yellow stockings.

TOBY And cross-gartered?

MARIA Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a
school i’ th’ church. I have dogged him like his
murderer. He does obey every point of the letter 75
that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face
into more lines than is in the new map with the
augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such
a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at
him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll 80
smile and take ’t for a great favor.

TOBY Come, bring us, bring us where he is.

They all exit.

Maria enters and tells them to come quick: Malvolio's wearing yellow stockings and smiling like a fool (just like the forged letter instructed him to do). Olivia's going to think he's gone crazy.

They run off to watch what happens.

Twelfth Night, or What You Will: Act 3, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 2 of Twelfth Night, or What You Will from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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