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Hitler Stalin and Mussolini were three men who through sheer force of

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personality managed to exert control over their respective countries they saw [Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini appear with respective flags]

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themselves as heroes and mighty leaders and heaven help anyone who thought

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otherwise well Adolf Hitler was born in Austria in

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1889 he wanted to be a painter well by most standards he wasn't half bad but he [Hitler painting]

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didn't get into art school and no one seemed to want to buy his work so Hitler

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did what any melancholy young artist would do he joined the German army okay

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well maybe not many people would do that but it was Hitler, you know he spent World War

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one learning how militaries work and when the war was over [Hitler fighting in World War One]

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he went into politics well there was a whole lot of rage in Germany in the

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1920s people felt like they've gotten all of the blame for the war and that

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they were being unfairly punished by the Allies Hitler was no exception he was

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perfectly happy to claim that the Jews the Allies the Communists and pretty

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much anyone who wasn't a perfect German citizen had ruined his adopted country [Hitler pointing to a bunny]

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well after a stint in prison that he pretended was a writing retreat Hitler

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emerged ready to take full advantage of a down-and-out Germany as the leader of

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the Nazis he became the German Chancellor in 1933 and Germany's

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president in 1934 he promptly ditched those two lame titles for the bad [Hitler giving a speech]

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sounding tag of Fuehrer of the Third Reich

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well Hitler had a couple of goals for Germany once he found himself in charge

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kill everybody and take over the world remember like pinky and the brain ok

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well that's an oversimplification but he did want to reclaim everything Germany

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had lost in the Treaty of Versailles and then some and he wanted the Aryan race [Hitler holding the Earth]

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to purge the world of its inferiors so it could rule in pure-blooded splendor

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and no mudblood and basically a real-life Lord Voldemort camp

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so to summarize Hitler was bonkers and had no business running a lemonade stand [Hitler appears by a lemonade stand]

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much less country well Joseph Stalin was born in Georgia in 1878 not way down

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yonder on the chattahoochee Georgia Russian Georgia and there's a big

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difference and his real name wasn't Stalin it was Jughashvili.. yeah you

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can see why he changed it Stalin had a rotten childhood his dad was an abusive [Stalin as a child and father appears angry]

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drunk and he survived smallpox in an accident that stunted his left arms growth yet

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Stalin knew he was destined for greater things like supporting the Bolshevik

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caused by robbing banks and killing people [Stalin robbing a bank vault and Joker appears]

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Lenin loved the kid and made him a member of the Politburo during the

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Russian Civil War it was in the Politburo that Stalin met his rival for

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Lenin's affections Leon Trotsky there was a lot of high drama surrounding this [Trotsky and Stalin in a boxing ring]

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love triangle until 1924 when Lenin finally died after a series of strokes

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while Lenin made it very clear at the end of his life that Stalin was in no

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way qualified to be the leader of Soviet Russia

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Stalin successfully murdered and manipulated his way to the top of the

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pile like Hitler he belongs in a padded cell where they could run their own [Hitler and Stalin in stray jackets by a lemonade stand]

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crazy lemonade stand together....And behind door number 3 Benito Mussolini yeah

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that guy who was born in Italy in 1883 where he spent his formative years

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reading lots of books and avoiding military service an avowed socialist he

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made a name for himself in Italian politics right up until he decided to [Mussolini on stage giving a speech]

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support Italy's entering World War one so it could win a lot of territory for

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itself the Socialists kicked Mussolini to the curb as a result of his

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position so he became a fascist instead and spent nine months in a trench during [Mussolini appears in a trench]

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the war when 1921 Mussolini was instrumental in founding Italy's

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national fascist party by 1922 he was Italy's Prime Minister he however liked

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to call himself il duce.....Mussolini's goal was simple he wanted to make Italy

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a global power by taking over lots and lots of territory in Europe and Africa [Mussolini chases Hitler]

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he envisioned his Italy is a kind of new Rome with togas and gladiators you know

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the works like his pals Stalin and Hitler he qualified as crazy well these three

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very different men from three very different countries all ended up in

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positions of enormous power and people you have to wonder who voted for them [Mussolini and Stalin appear together]

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yeah well they would all three play pivotal roles in global affairs for

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years yet only Stalin would survive World War two the man may have belonged

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in a straitjacket but he was sly like a fox and he had the best moustache of all

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dictators ever we have a feeling his lemonade stand

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would have been the most successful too!

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