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00:10

Well, hullo there. So you want to hear all about the Pro-Slavery Movement, eh?

00:15

No, no… down here!

00:17

I’d let him tell it, but his version would probably be a little biased.

00:21

This guy feeds me and provides me shelter, so I love him and all, but to be honest…

00:25

he’s kind of a racist. He owns twenty or so slaves.

00:28

That’s right – he owns people.

00:31

I’m not even really okay with him owning me.

00:34

Anyway, he’s not alone.

00:36

Slave labor is the backbone of the South’s economy.

00:39

Even if that backbone is constantly sore and in need of a good, solid tweak at a chiropractor’s office.

00:45

But the nation’s produce has to be farmed by someone…

00:48

…and this dude certainly isn’t going to get his hands dirty.

00:53

Of course, he can’t pay his slaves a percentage of the profits.

00:57

First of all, because… they wouldn’t be “slaves” anymore.

01:00

And second, because…

01:01

why cut into your profit margin if you don’t have to?

01:04

These guys have to keep working for you one way or another…

01:07

…and it sure is nice to be able to buy fancy dresses for the missus and order

01:11

the heck out of stuff from Amazon.com.

01:14

So… how does he sleep at night?

01:17

Other than… loudly?

01:20

Well, for one thing, he justifies his actions by relying on the word of the Bible.

01:25

Like where it gives examples of slavery and teaches that slaves should respect their masters.

01:31

Ironic, really, as the Bible is the same source abolitionists try to quote against slave-owners.

01:36

Everyone’s got their own interpretation, I guess.

01:39

Okay, so the Bible might have been written before the invention of toilet paper, but…

01:43

…is the world really that different today than it was back then?

01:47

Despite how much their situation sucks…

01:50

…slave owners argue that slaves do have it a lot better here in the South

01:54

than they would back in Africa.

01:56

At least they are given homes and meals.

01:59

But to hear these plantation owners talk, it’s almost as if they feel they’re doing

02:03

black men and women a favor.

02:06

It’s probably not my place to talk, as I’m just a dog, but…

02:10

…these slaves probably wish their masters would just take their “favor” and put

02:15

it where the sun don’t shine. If you know what I mean.

02:18

It looked like things might be taking a turn

02:20

for the better for these folks, what with that whole Dred Scott case…

02:24

…but we just got word that he lost.

02:27

Turns out that suing for your freedom, as Dred Scott tried to do…

02:30

doesn’t really work.

02:32

Who knows?

02:33

Maybe they’ll be stuck working for the man from here to eternity.

02:37

All I know is that, unless I suddenly sprout opposable thumbs…

02:41

I’m not going anywhere.

02:43

At least I have this bone.

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