Office Assistant. Salary: $25,000 or less 

You get to the counseling office nice and early at 5:00AM to impress your new boss, but you need to use the bathroom and they haven't given you a key yet. At 5:30AM, feeling the pain, you figure your boss is up and you give him a call to find out where the patient key is. Apparently you're supposed to use the tree outside. That's new.

Novice Counselor. Salary: $35,000 

As your patient talks about their recent divorce, your mind starts to wander to last weekend's vacation in Nantucket. Mentally slapping yourself, you zone back in on the conversation just as the client gets to how they discovered their spouse cheating. Crisis averted (well, your crisis, anyway).

Experienced Counselor. Salary: $45,000 

Your office calls at 5:30AM. You jump out of bed, ready to head out at a moment's notice to deal with a patient's emergency issue. Your assistant apologizes profusely, but he can't seem to find the key to the bathroom and really has to go. You tell your assistant there's a tree in front of the building and hang up the phone.

Grief Specialist. Salary: $65,000 

Walking into the ward, you say good morning to the Coopers. John silences you with a finger from his hospital bed. Sheila's head rests on John's chest as she snores quietly. You back out of the room, mouthing that you'll be back later.

Private Practitioner. Salary $80,000 

You take a deep breath, close your eyes and count to ten. When you open your eyes, you calmly explain to the delivery guy that the new desk was supposed to be mahogany. If you're not going to manage your own grief, who will?