The Optimistic Holistic. Salary: $25,000 or less 

You've just started your career of holistic medicine. Your number one prescription is a big ol' smile and a can-do attitude. In your experience, there's nothing the power of positive thinking can't accomplish. Except for maybe attracting new clients. Seriously, where is everyone?

Massage Therapist. Salary: $41,000 

Every time you work a muscle group, you know you're secretly helping your clients' chi. Sure, they might not know it now, but later, they're going to feel like a million bucks. The nice thing about massage therapy is that it doesn't matter what the clients believe or don't believe...getting that tension rubbed out makes them feel awesome.

Independent Practitioner. Salary: $86,720 

As the master of your own destiny, you try to do it all: yoga, aromatherapy, herbalism, and more. You tend to shy away from needles because they give you the willies, but other than that you have an alternative answer to every standard question that comes through your office doors.

Hollywood Acupuncturist. Salary: $98,000 

Alternative medicine is in, and Hollywood is going crazy for it. Ever since Jim Carrey told everyone how you cured his arthritis on Twitter, producers have been scooping you up for on-set actor poking between shoots. You can't help but feel like this wasn't what you had in mind when planning out your career, but hey—celebrities are people, too.

Naturopathic Doctor. Salary: $126,650 

From acupuncture to herbalism, you can needle and prescribe turmeric with the best of 'em. By working alongside traditional doctors in a large hospital, you're able to keep that salary up and perform medicine in the way you believe to be best. Sure there are only seventeen states in which you can legally practice, but most of them are super nice.