Matchmaker, not breaker. Salary: $0

Your most prized client hires you to find her a match. You take her up on it and on their first date, she throws her hip out after following your advice and doing something fun, like skydiving. She sues you for everything you got. You're out of business within twenty-four hours.

Where's the beef? Salary: $10,000

Your first big matchup is with a millionaire shipping magnate and a vegan physical therapist. The date goes south when the vegan finds out that the millionaire ships cattle to the slaughterhouse. You get a reputation for being lousy at your job and no one will take your calls anymore. Womp, womp.

A Real Matchmaker. Salary: $38,000

You've got a couple lower-profile clients and some of them are actually happy with their matches. Go you. You'd do well to rub shoulders with some more rich or famous people, but at least you're actually making a living doing this. That's nice.

Quick, someone call the Kardashians. Salary: $100,000

You try to fix up one of the Housewives of Atlanta with one of the contestants on The Bachelorette and he leaves her for a runner up on American Idol to form their own TV series. The housewife is not happy. You'd better make it right before she tells all her friends that you're not all you're cracked up to be.

Watch out, Patti Stanger. Salary: $500,000

You've been in the business twenty years and make a very comfortable living, but you're getting tired of whining clients and all the prima donnas you have to put up with. You open up a matchmaking school to teach other matchmakers how to get your kind of success. Cha-ching.