You're poor, even by musician standards. Now that's saying a lot. It might be time to start temping.

You're a cabaret singer who books three or four gigs a month. It's nice that you get to do what you love, but it sure would be nice if you could do it more often.

You play at the piano bar for Royal Caribbean cruise lines. The work is steady and the pay decent, but the seasickness is a bear. You have trouble getting through "My Heart Will Go On" without puking up your guts. (Unrelated to the seasickness.)

You're a popular regional jazz musician in New Orleans. You work constantly and make a good living. You may play free jazz, but that doesn't mean it's free.

You're Jay-Z. You are the 1%.