You're pretty popular in Dogpatch, Kentucky for your play-by-play of the mud-wrestling contest at the annual county fair. You tried your hand at announcing local high school football games once, but they're a little hesitant to let you behind the mic again ever since the time you got into a fist fight with the referee because you refused to stop calling him Louie Braille over the stadium PA.

You've been doing Color Commentary for Division III football and basketball in east Texas for about four years now. You get to do play-by-play whenever the regular guy is off, which isn't often because he's around 103 and seems to think holding onto that microphone is the only thing keeping him above ground. You have applications in pretty much everywhere else.

You're a staple in Division II sports in the Midwest states. You do play-by-play for baseball, football, wrestling, and swimming. It's a grab bag of athletics, but you're about the only one willing to do that many different sports, so the radio station is saving decent cash by employing just you instead of two or three other guys. They just gave you a raise so you can finally quit your part time job selling hunting equipment at Dick's Sporting Goods.

You moved up to an ESPN Division I commentator slot about a year ago and things are going great. You do the occasional hockey game but focus mostly on track, soccer, and basketball. There's even talk of you being nominated for a Sports Emmy for Outstanding Sports Personality, Play-by-Play. You've really got your fingers crossed for it because the executive producer just found out you've been secretly dating his daughter for the past six months and snagging a broadcasting award might go a long way toward convincing him not to send you back to handing out rental cars at Enterprise.

Sayonara, ESPN. NBC just hired you as a back up commentator for their primetime sports lineup, which means you'll occasionally be working with Joe Buck, Bob Costas, and Al Michaels. Learning from the Great Ones, getting this level of exposure and experience means you are in about as good a position as you possibly can be. Maybe you'll get a primary slot in a few years, or maybe a big league team will offer you a job as their number one play-by-play guy. Who knows? Who cares? At this point all you know is you're riding high and trading ramen noodles for Kobe beef.