Hermes (Mercury)'s Conversations

Hermes (Mercury)'s Conversations

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Hermes

Hey everyone, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER.

Peitho

Rough day at work?

Hermes

You can say that again.

Peitho

Rough day at work?

Hermes

Hehe.

Hermes

Having a jam session with Apollo tonight.

Apollo

You bring your reed pipes. I'll bring my lyre.

Hermes

Why do I always have to play the reed pipes?

Apollo

Because I'm better than you on the lyre.

Hermes

Yeah, right. I invented it.

Apollo

Well, I'm the god of music.

Hermes

If you're such an awesome god of music, why didn't you invent the lyre yourself?

Zeus

Oh no you don't. I need you to escort Adonis down to the land of the dead.

Hermes

But it's my night off!

Zeus

I. Don't. Care.

Apollo

We'll jam tomorrow, Hermpatrol.

Hermes

That's it! That's our new band name. Hermpatrol.

Zeus

HERMES

Hermes

On my way, Lord Zeus.

Zeus

HERMES! WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING AN iPHONE IF YOU NEVER RETURN MY TEXTS?

Hermes

On my way, your lordship.

Hermes

Lost his winged sandal. Again.

Peitho

Where was the last place you remember seeing it?

Hermes

On my foot.

Peitho

Why don't we ask Hephaestus to make you some new ones?

Hermes

No way. Those are my favorite sandals.

Pan

Whoopsies. I might have borrowed them.

Hermes

WHAT??

Pan

Sorry, Dad. There was this really rad costume party last night, so I borrowed your sandals. But I may have lost one while skinny-dipping with the nymphs.

Hermes

You remind me of me. ;) I'm sure the Nereids can help retrieve it.

Zeus

I've been texting you for hours. WHERE ARE YOU?

Hermes

Sorry, Lord Zeus. My iPhone was accidentally on mute.

Zeus

Get over here before I singe your nose hairs with lightning bolts.

Hermes

Right away, sir.

Apollo

Ever notice that your name sounds like a disease?

Hermes

Ever notice that you are a disease?

Apollo

Touché.

Maia

I miss you, pumpkin.

Hermes

Miss you too, Mamma Maia!

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