Case File: Hestia vs. Priapus
Police Reports
Case Description: Complainant (Hestia) accuses Defendant (Priapus) of attempted sexual assault. Hestia fell asleep in a patch of grass on Mt. Ida after a big party of the gods. Just then, Priapus, a god known for his sexual appetite, came by and tried to have his way with her.
Case Status: Case pending. Luckily, a nearby donkey brayed before Priapus could do the deed. Hestia woke up and screamed. All the other gods came running, and Priapus made a fast getaway through the trees.