Horus the Elder's Conversations

Horus the Elder's Conversations

Wall

Today's workout: 24,000 one-armed pushups, 64 miles cross-country, bench pressed a 747.

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Showoff.

Were there people in the 747 or was it empty?

Moon

Sorry about that eclipse, man.

You could've warned me! Woke up blind. Good thing that didn't last very long. Though blind target shooting could be fun.

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I'm glad your eyes are all right, sweetie.

At least you got your vision back when the moon moved, Uncle. I had to get my mother to fix my eye when Seth ripped it out.

You're lucky I only got the one eye, punk.

Mom!

I have an idea.

This doesn't usually end well. What now?

We should join forces. I can take off my head and put it on your shoulder, and we can be a new god. Call it Bawy, "the two powers." Then maybe people will stop giving me a hard time and calling me evil. Everybody loves you.

You're right, they do. Maybe you could try to be a little less mean?

And spoil all the fun?

Some things never change. Listen, you know the half of the temple you have at Kom Ombo? The one we share? I invited Sobek to move in.

Three gods in one temple? That's going to get a little crowded.

That's why he took your side.

Sobek

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First they rip all my images out of Karnak, then they kick me out of the Delta, and now you're telling me I don't have a place at Kom Ombo anymore? Does this have something to do with Osiris?

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I can't get any respect around here.

invites Horus the Elder to Event: Hammer-throwing contest.

Cool. Don't suppose I can borrow Mjölnir for that?

No way. Nobody can pick it up but me, anyhow.

Hm. I don't have a hammer. My priests usually make me pointy things. Can I bring a spear instead?

As long as it's not made out of mistletoe. Odin gets a little upset, still.

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Balder, I remember. That really sucked.

Nobody invited you, Loki. Don't you have a rock to be tied to?

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Wow, did you see the game?

Which game? I was watching them all.

How?

I have a whole wall full of monitors, so I can watch all the games on earth at once.

Like I said: How?

Good eyes?

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You heard about what Seth did to Osiris. So when are you going to go punish him?

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That's going to be your son's job. He needs to prove he's worthy to be king, right?

Well, yes, but he's just a baby. You're my big brother, too, can't you handle it?

I'm sure that Seth will be quaking in his sandals until little Horus gets old enough.

I'm not afraid of that kid.

You should be.

I love you, booboo.

I love you, honey bunch.

I love you more.

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I got us cruise tickets for our anniversary. How about down the Nile to my place for the week? We can call it the Beautiful Reunion.

Egyptian citizens

Cool, can we come?

Sure, bring your own boats though.