ShmoopTube

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Thank you We sneak in hamlet allah Shmoop you think

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your parents are a pain boo My dad literally comes

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back from the grave to give me chores Avenge My

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dad saved me from the flames of hell Be nice

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to your mother of live above a block Oh and

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my mom a month after my dad croaks she marries

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his brother who is the one who killed my dad

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in the first place So yeah we're a little twisted

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family You know we're one paternity test away from being

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like featured on maury povich Well i guess we all

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have our baggage like when your dad picks a fight

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with norway and leaves you to deal with the swarming

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armies Or when your girlfriend's dad teams up with your

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interfering mother to spy on you Come on mom You're

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never going to get me so enough with that old

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fogey polonius and stay out of my room Fortunately i

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have a cunning plan to conceal my quest for revenge

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Act like a nut job so far it's going great

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ophelia sure is buying it anyway and how's this for

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a genius I hired a bunch of actors to recreate

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my father's murder Right in front of uncle claudius He's

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gonna pee himself I know it seems like my life

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is an endless parade of hilarious hijinks But i have

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a dark side too I wear lots of black and

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not just because of compliments My skin tone Plus i

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kind of broke up with ophelia And by kind of

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i mean called her approved and an idiot And i

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told her i never loved you may also have made

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fun of marriage and implied that all women were teases

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and or flirts Who used too much makeup package for

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hamlets And well if you think she's mad at me

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Well at least the play gag work uncle claudius totally

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free I got in a couple of gigs at mom

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too but the real action went down After the show

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claudius was by himself praying up a storm and ripe

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for an ambush I was going to introduce him to

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the business end of my sword but then i realized

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i can't kill him Now when he's all spiritually and

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communing with his maker the last thing i want is

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for that slug can go to heaven Great Now i

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have to wait for him to sin again So instead

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of murdering my step dad i went to see my

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mom and when i got there some dude was hiding

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behind the curtain So of course i stabbed first and

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ask questions later Yeah turns out it was that jerk

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Polonius Why do i get the feeling all philly is

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not gonna like this Another package handler On a funny

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or note mom saw me chatting with my ghost dad

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and she couldn't even see him What the heck but

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she was dialing the therapist the minute i left I

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decided to have a little more fun with claudia So

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i arranged a game of hide and seek with polonius

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body Naturally claudius overreacted and sent me to england Cool

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road trip Well on the way though i saw forty

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ross army attacking poland I didn't really see the point

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but if a guy whose name contains the word brock

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and attack a whole country eh come on Why can't

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i bump off one measly stepfather Yeah So i headed

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back full of righteous anger And my welcome back party

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consisted of a funeral for my girlfriend hoops and in

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date for a duel with her Seriously cheesed off brother

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layer tease Hello my name is charities You killed my

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father tonight At this point i just wanted a nap

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But whatever let's fight we both got in a couple

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of hits I even hit him with his own sword

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Take that fancy pants But then my mom started looking

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a little green prints out good old step dad poison

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in my wine And she drank it Then i noticed

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that i was feeling a little squirrely too And larry

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ty's told me that the sword was poisoned by you

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know who No not that one Uh so we meet

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again mr hamlet and we were both going to die

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I knew i should have stayed in bed Well there's

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no way I was dying without taking bodies with me

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so i stabbed him and made him drink the wine

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just to make sure I guess now denmark's going to

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be stuck with king lingerie Somebody tell him to bring

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a mop die to sleep sleep our chance to shmoop

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You know how that go I

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