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How's Julius Caesar doing after that whole "assassination" thing? Well, he's taking it one day at a time.
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Description:
We totally understand loving your country, but don't murder your best friend over it. That's a bit over the top. Stick to flying flags and singing national anthems, please.
Transcript
- 00:04
Julius Caesar, a la Shmoop Greetings, fellow countrymen. I am Brutus…
- 00:12
….Okay, okay, you all probably know me for my um, shaky moral compass…
- 00:17
…you know – murdering my good friend…
- 00:19
…who, uh, also happened to be a beloved Roman general and senator…
- 00:24
…but I swear this wasn’t just some popularity contest gone wrong.
Full Transcript
- 00:28
I mean, I did think that Caesar was getting too popular.
- 00:31
I was afraid that he was going to become the king of Rome…
- 00:37
…but it’s not like I wanted to be king instead! I just wanted no kings! Not even
- 00:42
the nice kind!
- 00:43
Just a good old fashioned republic…
- 00:44
…where everybody gets a voice.
- 00:47
Well, except the dead guy.
- 00:49
Okay, I admit… I guess we could have tried more, um, republican techniques, but it’s
- 00:56
not like we could have voted for the people to stop liking him!
- 01:00
Plus, I had my friend Cassius breathing down my neck.
- 01:05
He was all “Caesar thinks he’s soooo cool” and “nobody even likes him” and “we
- 01:10
need to murder him before he becomes a vicious dictator…”
- 01:13
Talk about pressure.
- 01:16
It’s especially uncomfortable when, at your murder victim’s funeral, after you’ve
- 01:21
gone on and on about how you did it all for the love of your country…
- 01:24
….it turns out that the guy you killed bequeathed all his money to the citizens of that country.
- 01:30
Doesn’t really make you look like you love your country all that much.
- 01:34
But I did, I swear… I was just misguided in my love…
- 01:37
Overly eager, pressured, a little obsessive – like that guy who keeps messaging you
- 01:42
on OKCupid…
- 01:44
Before this murder thing, I used to be one of the good guys. Well-loved in the community,
- 01:50
rubbing elbows with rising stars like Caesar, a good husband and a hard worker…
- 01:58
…but my love of country made me lose it all.
- 02:01
I lost my wife… she killed herself because I was so obsessed with Rome I’d forgotten
- 02:07
about her.
- 02:07
I lost my friend Cassius to the war…
- 02:09
…and then I lost the war.
- 02:12
And then, after all that, I lost myself.
- 02:16
Mine is a tale of caution: love can make you do crazy things. Like, really crazy things.
- 02:22
Seriously, people, don’t murder your friends.
- 02:25
But while I majorly screwed up with Rome, I didn’t lose the love of my life completely.
- 02:31
See, after I realized that the war was lost, and I killed myself…
- 02:34
…Antony, Caesar’s ally, spoke over my dead body. He said that, in spite of the huge
- 02:39
mess I helped create…
- 02:41
….I was the only one who did it because I truly loved my country.
- 02:44
So… yeah. At least I’ve got that going for me.
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