College 101
What matters to you, and why?
The Prompt
What matters to you, and why?
The Essay
Intro
A woolen blanket. A thick one, so thick it's almost more akin to a furniture blanket than something you would have on your bed. It is coarse and is too heavy to form to your body. Now it's wet, a lingering dampness that won't go away no matter how much you want it to. The dampness leads to a chill, and the chill works into your marrow. You would be so much warmer without the blanket, but it's too heavy to throw off.
That is depression. Before I was diagnosed, I had been told it was a normal part of growing up. I was told that teens are moody. I would grow out of it. I couldn't imagine anyone growing out of what I was feeling. I couldn't imagine anyone surviving.
Diagnosis and medication have saved my life, allowing me to see the world as people without my brain chemistry would. While both of these things are undeniably important, I do not believe they are necessarily universally so. What it did was allow me to see the world without the blanket trying to suffocate me, and what I found was a place of tiny kindnesses.
Body
It might sound bad—as though kindness can only exist in the smallest forms. This is not what I mean. There are extraordinary people out there who devote their lives to doing very large, very important things for others. I'm not talking about them, partially because they are extraordinary. They are not the norm.
What is normal are the tiny kindnesses. These do not cost a person much of anything. A slice of time, a moment of openness, and little else. They are a smile when you're feeling down, a comforting hand on the shoulder, a moment to talk.
Depression kept me from appreciating these. They could not have helped me then, but now, they can and do help me every single day. I don't know if they can prevent anyone else from sliding into a similarly damaging emotional state. I do know that every time someone takes the time, or the emotional moment, to connect with me in these most minor ways, I am inspired.
The blanket is off of me, but it's not gone from my life. It still wants to smother me in its clammy embrace. Times when I still feel down, or when I believe that I am truly finished with it, and tempted to leave the medication behind. When this happens, when I experience the spark of connection with another person, I know that my fight isn't over, that my fight has value.
Conclusion
So much of the world hinges on the smallest of moments. These should not be discounted just because they don't rattle the earth. History can turn on a single individual, and a person can turn on a dime. Every last action, every effect, sends ripples outward.
These ripples can be for good or bad. It makes no sense why we would choose bad, either. All it takes is a fraction of a moment. You can alter someone's life for the better. Who knows what that person would have become without you? Who knows what they can accomplish with you?
My depression, my chemical imbalance, my suffocating blanket, is a curse. However, it did, in its own way, show me how important these small things can be. It made me wonder, if such minute differences in life can have such far-reaching consequences, what can big things do? I know I'm going to change the world now, one person at a time.
Why This Essay Works
The intro opens by using evocative language to describe the nature of their hardship. This is an excellent way to draw in a reader. The description instantly separates it from the other essays, which is vital when you realize how many college admittance people read in a single stretch. This also lays the groundwork for everything that follows, allowing someone who doesn't suffer from depression to understand what it's like, at least in the short term.
The thesis of the essay, that tiny acts of kindness can change a person's history, is enormously appealing. It is at once a humanizing touch, as it is instantly recognizable for anyone. It's also a useful call to arms, pointing out that even the smallest gesture of kindness can help. It's inspiring in a very accessible way, showing a student who, though wracked with depression, has managed to find some light in their life.
The student is very clear about their hardship, referring to it several times and mentioning what they have to do to keep it under control. This shows maturity beyond what might normally be expected. Finally, they end on a note of hope, which is expertly juxtaposed against the hardship itself.