College 101
Common App 1: Background and Identity
The Prompt
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
The Essay
Intro
My feet hit the ground one after another, a steady percussion rhyming with the blood pulsing in my ears. I grab the fence in front of me and vault myself over it, never losing my momentum. Beyond that fence is a wall, but I do not stop. Instead, I climb, searching for handholds. What should have stopped me in my path instead becomes a path to new heights. For me, every obstacle is just an opportunity to improve.
Where most run through cities from the comfort of their couches, I vault, roll, jump all over the place in the real world. What I do, a unique method of traversal called "parkour," is simply a lot more dangerous than hitting buttons on a controller. It involves climbing up buildings, jumping over gaps, and all sorts of other moves—all completely unassisted.
Body
Of course, that is why I do it in the first place. I remember when I first played Assassin's Creed, a game where you play as a guy who climbs all around 12th-century Middle East and, yes, stabs people with a little knife. I was not a huge fan of the stabbing, but I lost hours making my character run around the cities and climb up buildings.
Eventually, I started to look at the world differently: where there was once an unremarkable wall with a few windows and unevenly placed bricks, there was now a clear path to the roof. It was not long before I actually took a chance and started climbing.
Naturally, there were setbacks. Many times, I was not as careful as I could have been, and I wound up becoming more familiar with hospital rooms ceilings than I should have been. Taking inspiration from games is all well and good, but no human being can match the infinite stamina and impossible gymnastics of most game characters.
Luckily, I have always had the support of my friends and family (at least, the surprisingly large number of them that did not think I was simply insane).
Conclusion
Through my parkour, I became stronger and more aware of my surroundings, and at the end of the day, I look at the world in a way few others can. Few have such literal experience with falling down as I do, but I know that I only fall so that I can get back up again.
Why This Essay Works
What makes this essay stand out is how the applicant found a unique detail about himself and explained how said detail made him a better person. Application examiners could probably wallpaper their houses with the number of essays they get talking about football or some other sport, but this applicant automatically stands out from the crowd simply because of its subject matter.
The essay begins with a gripping hook--a first-person narration of a single moment in the applicant's life--and then keeps it interesting by delving into the unique origins of his hobby. Being able to take inspiration from some form of media--even video games--is something most teachers (especially college professors) wished they saw more often.
Another part of why this essay works is the details, such as the first-person opening, the hospital room ceilings, and the specific game that inspired him. These give the essay a genuine feel.
Like a good essay should, the hook grabs in the reader, the body elaborates on the thesis, and the conclusion ties it all together.