College 101
Common App 3: Challenging Beliefs
The Prompt
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
The Essay
Introduction
My father's words stumbled through his mouth and past his lips like a stream of water sloshing over upturned, jagged rocks. I felt his discomfort in my bones. Our new neighbor's openly judgmental expression angered me and I felt myself turn red. Twenty years my father spent carefully learning a language that somehow still betrayed him. Twenty years, and my father was still an outsider.
Up until this moment, this first encounter with our neighbor, my relationship with my father had been a lot like his English: broken. It took me seventeen years to realize the linguistic persecution that my father had felt for twenty. Once I finally did, my self-identity completely changed.
Body
My story is the same as most first generation Americans: my parents are from a completely different culture, and so I was raised multi-culturally. I didn't quite fit in with my classmates, but I couldn't really relate to my parents either. I was stuck in the middle between two entirely different worlds.
As a child, of course, I chose the one I was living in.
I would come home some days and ask my parents if they could stop packing me leftovers for my lunch and just buy me Lunchables instead. I wanted clothes from American Eagle instead of Ross and Wal-Mart. My parents' native tongue was slowly becoming my heritage language. In other words, my first language was becoming my second language.
One day in particular stands out in my memory. My father had just come home from work; he had just started his residency program. Dark circles and wrinkles surrounded his honey-brown eyes and made them seem passionless, lost, and sad.
I didn't notice at the time.
My aging father slumped down on the couch and sighed heavily. Still, despite his very apparent fatigue, he attempted to make conversation and asked how my day was in our native language. I was twelve—you know, the age where you start thinking you know better than your parents. Ignoring his question, I told him he should speak in English since we were in the U.S.
As I approached adolescence, the rift between my parents and me only got bigger. My life revolved around school and my social life. Once my friends got their driver's licenses, I was hardly ever home.
Earlier this year, since my dad's medical practice was expanding, we moved to a better part of town. It was beautiful, a huge upgrade. As he was telling us the news, my father, beaming with pride, explained to me in English how we could finally afford to get cable. I laughed weakly, knowing that instant streaming was more popular nowadays.
The first encounter with our new neighbor changed everything. His name was Bill and he was a retired banker. My father greeted him graciously, despite the fact that he was on our property uninvited. Upon hearing his accent, his demeanor changed. "So, how long have you been living in America?" he asked. My father paused, as if he knew where the conversation was headed. It was probably a conversation he had had many, many times before. "Twenty years," he responded, with his head down.
Conclusion
That's when I realized how wrong I'd been. I regret staying silent during our encounter with Bill, but after that moment, I never spoke English with my parents again. I stopped scoffing at the cultural traditions they practiced every year. And whenever Bill came over unexpectedly, I made sure I was the one to talk to him.
I figured that at the very least, my parents should feel at home in their own home.
Seventeen years I wasted being ashamed of my background, my heritage, my family. I'm eighteen now, but I still cringe when I think about the self-absorbed person I once was. I still feel the shame and guilt of having realized something I should have known a long time ago: my parents aren't the ones who are broken.
Why This Essay Works
This essay knowingly discusses an issue that's present in many multicultural families: the culture clash between a first generation American child and their immigrant parents. The introduction eloquently unfolds the situation that acted as the catalyst for the author's change.
The body paragraphs give us more background about the author's family dynamic. The small anecdotes provided are examples of the author's cultural assimilation. We see a vulnerable, human side as they admit to things they're not proud of.
Let's be real—admissions officers probably get really tired of reading show-off essays that discuss how perfect everyone is. Come on, Shmoopers. We all know that's baloney. Not everyone did something when they saw someone getting bullied. Not everyone's a civil rights activist. Not everyone decided to volunteer at a homeless shelter or retirement home just out of the goodness of their hearts—although, those people are awesome.
Admissions officers want to know about growth, maturity, self-awareness; applicants should show that they can own up their mistakes and try to make them better. To get admitted into college, you have to be real.
In this essay, we finally see the change we wanted to see at the beginning. The author is ashamed, sure, but they resolve to become a more culturally aware person. Someone who would be a great addition to any college campus. Someone who would probably do great things in the future.
We'd like to get to know this Shmooper.