A side-by-side translation of Act 1, Scene 1 of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from the original Shakespeare into modern English.
Original Text |
Translated Text |
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Source: Folger Shakespeare Library | |
VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS What? VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE PROTEUS VALENTINE He exits. PROTEUS | The play opens with two BFFs, Valentine and Proteus, in the middle of a long and emotional goodbye. Valentine is taking a gap year to travel, and he wants Proteus to throw some jeans and sneakers into a backpack and join him. But Proteus in in love and wants to stay near his girl. In between bouts of dramatic sighing, Proteus begs Valentine to think of him while he's on his adventure and promises to pray for Valentine while he's away. Then Valentine gets snarky. He says Proteus's love is shallow—nothing Proteus would swim across a strait for. (The Hellespont, by the way, is a Turkish strait now known as The Dardenelles, and it plays a prominent role in the story of Hero and Leander. Spoiler alert: Leander drowns in it.) Cynical Valentine continues to berate his pal for loving a woman and insists that love turns men into slaves and fools. Finally, Valentine says he's got to run or else he'll miss his boat. Valentine and Proteus finally say goodbye and promise to write. Left alone, Proteus whines that his love for Julia (we now have a name for our mystery girl) has caused him to neglect his homework, argue with his friends, and generally waste his time moping around. Ah, love. |
Enter Speed. SPEED PROTEUS SPEED PROTEUS SPEED You conclude that my master is a shepherd, PROTEUS I do. 80 SPEED Why, then my horns are his horns, whether I PROTEUS A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. SPEED This proves me still a sheep. PROTEUS True, and thy master a shepherd. 85 SPEED Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. PROTEUS It shall go hard but I’ll prove it by another. SPEED The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the PROTEUS The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the SPEED Such another proof will make me cry “baa.” 95 PROTEUS But dost thou hear? Gav’st thou my letter to SPEED Ay, sir. I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a PROTEUS Here’s too small a pasture for such store of SPEED If the ground be overcharged, you were best PROTEUS Nay, in that you are astray; ’twere best pound 105 SPEED Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for PROTEUS You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold. SPEED PROTEUS But what said she? SPEED, nodding Ay. PROTEUS Nod—“Ay.” Why, that’s “noddy.” 115 SPEED You mistook, sir. I say she did nod, and you ask PROTEUS And that set together is “noddy.” SPEED Now you have taken the pains to set it together, PROTEUS No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter. SPEED Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you. PROTEUS Why, sir, how do you bear with me? SPEED Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly, having nothing PROTEUS Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. SPEED And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. PROTEUS Come, come, open the matter in brief. What SPEED Open your purse, that the money and the matter 130 PROTEUS, giving money Well, sir, here is for your SPEED, looking at the money Truly, sir, I think you’ll PROTEUS Why? Couldst thou perceive so much from SPEED Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her, no, PROTEUS What said she? Nothing? SPEED No, not so much as “Take this for thy pains.” 145 PROTEUS Speed exits. I must go send some better messenger. He exits. | Valentine's servant, Speed, shows up, wondering if Proteus has seen his master. Proteus brings Speed up to speed on Valentine's departure and then the two engage in a silly conversation that basically boils down to "You're a sheep." "No I'm not—you're a sheep." Proteus wants to know if Speed delivered his love letter to the luscious Julia and then Speed tells a dirty joke that involves, you guessed it, sheep. After an amusing and slightly exasperating comic routine, Speed shakes down Proteus for some money and finally says that, yes, he delivered the letter to Julia. Proteus is bummed to hear that Julia didn't get all excited when Speed delivered the letter and he reasons that she must have been put off by the annoying messenger (that would be Speed). He decides he'll find a new messenger to deliver his love notes to Julia. |