Enter Duke and Thurio. DUKE Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you Now Valentine is banished from her sight. THURIO Since his exile she hath despised me most, Forsworn my company and railed at me, That I am desperate of obtaining her. 5 DUKE This weak impress of love is as a figure Trenchèd in ice, which with an hour’s heat Dissolves to water and doth lose his form. A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, And worthless Valentine shall be forgot. 10 Enter Proteus. How now, Sir Proteus? Is your countryman, According to our proclamation, gone? PROTEUS Gone, my good lord. DUKE My daughter takes his going grievously. PROTEUS A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. 15 DUKE So I believe, but Thurio thinks not so. Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, For thou hast shown some sign of good desert, Makes me the better to confer with thee. PROTEUS Longer than I prove loyal to your Grace 20 Let me not live to look upon your Grace. DUKE Thou know’st how willingly I would effect The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter? PROTEUS I do, my lord. DUKE And also, I think, thou art not ignorant 25 How she opposes her against my will? PROTEUS She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. DUKE Ay, and perversely she persevers so. What might we do to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? 30 PROTEUS The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent, Three things that women highly hold in hate. DUKE Ay, but she’ll think that it is spoke in hate. PROTEUS Ay, if his enemy deliver it. 35 Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken By one whom she esteemeth as his friend. DUKE Then you must undertake to slander him. PROTEUS And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do. ’Tis an ill office for a gentleman, 40 Especially against his very friend. DUKE Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Therefore the office is indifferent, Being entreated to it by your friend. 45 PROTEUS You have prevailed, my lord. If I can do it By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, She shall not long continue love to him. But say this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio. 50 | The Duke of Milan assures Thurio that Sylvia will love him now that Valentine is out of the way. Thurio whines that Sylvia hates him even more now that the love of her life has been banished. Proteus enters with news that Valentine is gone, and the Duke asks Proteus for advice about how to make Sylvia forget Valentine. Proteus has a great idea—he'll talk smack about Valentine whenever Sylvia is around. (What a pal.) That way, Sylvia will be tricked into thinking that Valentine must be a bad guy if his best friend talks trash about him. Of course, this doesn't guarantee that she'll automatically start loving Thurio... |
THURIO Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel and be good to none, You must provide to bottom it on me, Which must be done by praising me as much As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine. 55 DUKE And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind Because we know, on Valentine’s report, You are already Love’s firm votary And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. Upon this warrant shall you have access 60 Where you with Sylvia may confer at large— For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy, And, for your friend’s sake, will be glad of you— Where you may temper her by your persuasion To hate young Valentine and love my friend. 65 PROTEUS As much as I can do I will effect.— But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough. You must lay lime to tangle her desires By wailful sonnets, whose composèd rhymes Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows. 70 DUKE Ay, much is the force of heaven-bred poesy. PROTEUS Say that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart. Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears Moist it again, and frame some feeling line 75 That may discover such integrity. For Orpheus’ lute was strung with poets’ sinews, Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones, Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. 80 After your dire-lamenting elegies, Visit by night your lady’s chamber window With some sweet consort; to their instruments Tune a deploring dump; the night’s dead silence Will well become such sweet complaining 85 grievance. This, or else nothing, will inherit her. DUKE This discipline shows thou hast been in love. THURIO, to Proteus And thy advice this night I’ll put in practice. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, 90 Let us into the city presently To sort some gentlemen well-skilled in music. I have a sonnet that will serve the turn To give the onset to thy good advice. DUKE About it, gentlemen. 95 PROTEUS We’ll wait upon your Grace till after supper And afterward determine our proceedings. DUKE Even now about it! I will pardon you. They exit. | Thurio jumps in and says that while Proteus talks down Valentine, he should also be talking up Thurio, just to make sure Sylvia's love is rerouted his way. Proteus says sure, and advises Thurio to recite love poetry to Sylvia if he wants to win her heart. Oh, and Thurio should also serenade her outside of her window every night with a band of musicians. In other words, Proteus is encouraging Thurio to stalk her, which Sylvia will hate. |