Much Ado About Nothing: Act 2, Scene 3 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 3 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Benedick alone. BENEDICK Boy! Enter Boy. BOY Signior? BENEDICK In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to me in the orchard. BOY I am here already, sir. 5 BENEDICK I know that, but I would have thee hence and here again. Boy exits. I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such 10 shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love—and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe; I have known 15 when he would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armor, and now will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier, and now is he turned orthography; 20 his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not. I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster, but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an 25 oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s certain; 30 wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her; fair, or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it please God. Ha! The Prince and 35 Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbor. He hides.	Benedick is about to take a walk in Leonato’s garden (which we like to call the Garden of Eavesdropping). He laments that he remembers a time when Claudio was a solider instead a lovesick guy that sighs all the time. Claudio used to speak plain and straight, but now his words are flowery and fawning. Benedick wonders if love could ever transform him so tremendously (and hideously). Benedick lists off all of the impossible qualities a girl would need for him to want her. If a woman had all of his specified qualities together, which is kind of a tall order, he wouldn’t mind what color her hair was. Seeing Don Pedro and Claudio approach with Leonato, Benedick runs and hides.
Enter Prince, Leonato, Claudio, and Balthasar with music. PRINCE Come, shall we hear this music? CLAUDIO Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is, As hushed on purpose to grace harmony! PRINCE, aside to Claudio See you where Benedick hath hid himself? 40 CLAUDIO, aside to Prince O, very well my lord. The music ended, We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth. PRINCE Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again. BALTHASAR O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice To slander music any more than once. 45 PRINCE It is the witness still of excellency To put a strange face on his own perfection. I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more. BALTHASAR Because you talk of wooing, I will sing, Since many a wooer doth commence his suit 50 To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos, Yet will he swear he loves. PRINCE Nay, pray thee, come, Or if thou wilt hold longer argument, Do it in notes. 55 BALTHASAR Note this before my notes: There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting. PRINCE Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks! Note notes, forsooth, and nothing. Music plays. BENEDICK, aside Now, divine air! Now is his soul 60 ravished. Is it not strange that sheeps’ guts should hale souls out of men’s bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all’s done. BALTHASAR sings "Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever, 65 One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never. Then sigh not so, but let them go, And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe 70 Into Hey, nonny nonny. "Sing no more ditties, sing no mo, Of dumps so dull and heavy. The fraud of men was ever so, Since summer first was leavy. 75 Then sigh not so, but let them go, And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe Into Hey, nonny nonny." PRINCE By my troth, a good song. 80 BALTHASAR And an ill singer, my lord. PRINCE Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a shift. BENEDICK, aside An he had been a dog that should have howled thus, they would have hanged him. And 85 I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night raven, come what plague could have come after it.	The men see Benedick hide, and Claudio notes Benedick’s hiding place. Now they’ll go have a loud and manipulative conversation right by Benedick’s hiding spot. Don Pedro asks Balthasar to sing a song. Balthasar’s all "Oh I can’t sing so well," so everyone else can say, "No! You’re the best singer in the world!" Balthasar notes that he’s like a suitor who will approach a girl thinking she doesn’t deserve him, but then he’ll go on and try to woo her anyway, and even declare he loves her. As Balthasar sings, Benedick mocks him from behind his tree. When he's done, Benedick says that if a dog had made that kind of noise, someone would have hanged it.
PRINCE Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee get us some excellent music, for tomorrow 90 night we would have it at the Lady Hero’s chamber window. BALTHASAR The best I can, my lord. PRINCE Do so. Farewell. Balthasar exits. Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of 95 today, that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick? CLAUDIO O, ay. Aside to Prince. Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved any man. 100 LEONATO No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor. BENEDICK, aside Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that 105 corner? LEONATO By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the infinite of thought. PRINCE Maybe she doth but counterfeit. 110 CLAUDIO Faith, like enough. LEONATO O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it. PRINCE Why, what effects of passion shows she? 115 CLAUDIO, aside to Leonato Bait the hook well; this fish will bite. LEONATO What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard my daughter tell you how. CLAUDIO She did indeed. 120 PRINCE How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. LEONATO I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially against Benedick. 125 BENEDICK, aside I should think this a gull but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence. CLAUDIO, aside to Prince He hath ta’en th’ infection. Hold it up. 130	Prince Don Pedro sends Balthasar away to seek out some really good music for tomorrow night so they can play it outside Hero's window. Then Leonato, Don Pedro, and Claudio have a super-obvious conversation meant to make Benedick fall in love with Beatrice. The discussion essentially amounts to the fact that Beatrice is in love with Benedick, though she seems to hate him outwardly. They say they’ve heard all this news from Hero, who Beatrice confides in. Benedick is surprised, but definitely interested in this news. Prince Don Pedro keeps saying he can't believe it, but Leonato insists it's true. Claudio quietly notes that Benedick is totally buying their act. It's time to reel him in.
PRINCE Hath she made her affection known to Benedick? LEONATO No, and swears she never will. That’s her torment. CLAUDIO ’Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall 135 I,” says she, “that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?” LEONATO This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ 140 a sheet of paper. My daughter tells us all. CLAUDIO Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of. LEONATO O, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found “Benedick” and “Beatrice” between 145 the sheet? CLAUDIO That. LEONATO O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, railed at herself that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout 150 her. “I measure him,” says she, “by my own spirit, for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea, though I love him, I should.” CLAUDIO Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: 155 “O sweet Benedick, God give me patience!” LEONATO She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter is sometimes afeared she will do a desperate outrage to herself. It is very true. 160 PRINCE It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it. CLAUDIO To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse. PRINCE An he should, it were an alms to hang him. 165 She’s an excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous. CLAUDIO And she is exceeding wise. PRINCE In everything but in loving Benedick. LEONATO O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in 170 so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian. PRINCE I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I would have daffed all other respects and made her 175 half myself. I pray you tell Benedick of it, and hear what he will say. LEONATO Were it good, think you? CLAUDIO Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she will die if he love her not, and she will die ere 180 she make her love known, and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness. PRINCE She doth well. If she should make tender of her love, ’tis very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, 185 as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit.	Don Pedro asks if Beatrice has told Benedick how she feels and Leonato says no, and she never will. She worries that he wouldn't believe her if she seemed to switch suddenly from hating him so completely to loving him so fervently. And so, she is tormented. Things are so bad that Hero worries Beatrice might even hurt herself—that’s how deeply tormented she is by her secret love for Benedick. It seems that Beatrice’s love for Benedick will kill her in one of the three ways: 1) she’ll die if he doesn’t love her; 2) she’ll die before ever revealing her love to him; or 3) she’ll die if he woos her, because it would kill her to be a gentle wooed maid instead of her usual biting self. (They really lay it on thick.) The talk then turns to whether they should tell Benedick about Beatrice’s secret love for him. They all loudly declare (for Benedick to hear) that this is a bad idea, because Benedick is too proud to hear about Beatrice’s love without scorning her.
CLAUDIO He is a very proper man. PRINCE He hath indeed a good outward happiness. CLAUDIO Before God, and in my mind, very wise. PRINCE He doth indeed show some sparks that are like 190 wit. CLAUDIO And I take him to be valiant. PRINCE As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great discretion or undertakes 195 them with a most Christianlike fear. LEONATO If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace. If he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. PRINCE And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, 200 howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell him of her love? CLAUDIO Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out with good counsel. 205 LEONATO Nay, that’s impossible; she may wear her heart out first. PRINCE Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would modestly examine himself to 210 see how much he is unworthy so good a lady. LEONATO My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready. Leonato, Prince, and Claudio begin to exit. CLAUDIO, aside to Prince and Leonato If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation. 215 PRINCE, aside to Leonato Let there be the same net spread for her, and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The sport will be when they hold one an opinion of another’s dotage, and no such matter. That’s the scene that I would see, 220 which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner. Prince, Leonato, and Claudio exit.	Next, the men take some time to praise Benedick, saying what a noble, brave, and witty man he is. Prince Don Pedro asks one more time if maybe they should tell him, but Leonato says no way. They should just let it go, and maybe she'll eventually get over him. Prince Don Pedro says okay, but gee. Benedick is such a good guy. I hate to see him let such a worthy woman slip away. Certain that their task is done, they go off to dinner, snickering to themselves. When they’re out of earshot of Benedick, Don Pedro says that they’ve got to get the girls to perform the same trick on Beatrice. Don Pedro delights in thinking of the time when Benedick and Beatrice will face each other; they’ll both be struck speechless by feelings completely opposite to their professed anti-loving natures. Their usual witty word play will become like watching mimes. They plot to send Beatrice to call Benedick into dinner, because that will be hilariously awkward.
BENEDICK, coming forward This can be no trick. The conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero; they seem to pity the lady. It seems 225 her affections have their full bent. Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am censured. They say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come from her. They say, too, that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think 230 to marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness. And virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise, but for loving me; by my troth, 235 it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her! I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A 240 man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No! The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not 245think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy some marks of love in her.	Benedick, who had been listening to Don Pedro & Co.’s conversation, didn't realize that he was supposed to be listening. He seems shocked by what he heard. He says he would believe the whole conversation was a trick, except the old, venerable Leonato participated in the conversation, so it must’ve been legitimate. Anyway, Benedick heard his friend’s criticism that he seemed proud, and says this is a great opportunity to improve himself. In fact, Benedick says to himself, Beatrice is a great girl. If her greatest foolishness is to love him, then he can love her in return. He’s certain he’ll endure some teasing for changing his opinion on marriage so abruptly, but people change over time. And besides, the world has to be populated.
Enter Beatrice. BEATRICE Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. 250 BENEDICK Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. BEATRICE I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come. BENEDICK You take pleasure then in the message? 255 BEATRICE Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior. Fare you well. She exits. BENEDICK Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.” There’s a double meaning in 260 that. “I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.” That’s as much as to say “Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. 265 He exits.	Beatrice was sent to call Benedick to dinner, so she approaches. Benedick already imagines that he sees signs of love for him written all over her. The two have a strange little exchange. Benedick is all flattery and kindness (recall the beginning of the scene when he criticized Claudio for acting this way…) and Beatrice is confused about his change in attitude toward her. She excuses herself, and Benedick misinterprets the brief interaction, mistaking "she’s trying to escape from me" for "she clearly likes me." Benedick declares he’ll love Beatrice, because to not love her would make him stingy, although he uses a racial slur to communicate that idea. Thanks, Shakespeare.

Original Text

Translated Text

Source: Folger Shakespeare Library

Enter Benedick alone.

BENEDICK Boy!

Enter Boy.

BOY Signior?

BENEDICK In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it
hither to me in the orchard.

BOY I am here already, sir. 5

BENEDICK I know that, but I would have thee hence
and here again.

Boy exits.

I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much
another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors
to love, will, after he hath laughed at such 10
shallow follies in others, become the argument of
his own scorn by falling in love—and such a man is
Claudio. I have known when there was no music
with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe; I have known 15
when he would have walked ten mile afoot to see a
good armor, and now will he lie ten nights awake
carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont
to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest
man and a soldier, and now is he turned orthography; 20
his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so
many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see
with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not. I will not
be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an 25
oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool.
One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet
I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all
graces be in one woman, one woman shall not
come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s certain; 30
wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not
near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good
discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall
be of what color it please God. Ha! The Prince and 35
Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbor.

He hides.

Benedick is about to take a walk in Leonato’s garden (which we like to call the Garden of Eavesdropping).

He laments that he remembers a time when Claudio was a solider instead a lovesick guy that sighs all the time. Claudio used to speak plain and straight, but now his words are flowery and fawning.

Benedick wonders if love could ever transform him so tremendously (and hideously). Benedick lists off all of the impossible qualities a girl would need for him to want her. If a woman had all of his specified qualities together, which is kind of a tall order, he wouldn’t mind what color her hair was.

Seeing Don Pedro and Claudio approach with Leonato, Benedick runs and hides.

Enter Prince, Leonato, Claudio, and Balthasar
with music.

PRINCE Come, shall we hear this music?

CLAUDIO
Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!

PRINCE, aside to Claudio
See you where Benedick hath hid himself? 40

CLAUDIO, aside to Prince
O, very well my lord. The music ended,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.

PRINCE
Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.

BALTHASAR
O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music any more than once. 45

PRINCE
It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.

BALTHASAR
Because you talk of wooing, I will sing,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit 50
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
Yet will he swear he loves.

PRINCE Nay, pray thee, come,
Or if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes. 55

BALTHASAR Note this before my notes:
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

PRINCE
Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks!
Note notes, forsooth, and nothing.

Music plays.

BENEDICK, aside Now, divine air! Now is his soul 60
ravished. Is it not strange that sheeps’ guts should
hale souls out of men’s bodies? Well, a horn for my
money, when all’s done.

BALTHASAR sings
"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever, 65
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe 70
Into Hey, nonny nonny.

"Sing no more ditties, sing no mo,
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy. 75
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny."

PRINCE By my troth, a good song. 80

BALTHASAR And an ill singer, my lord.

PRINCE Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a
shift.

BENEDICK, aside An he had been a dog that should
have howled thus, they would have hanged him. And 85
I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as
lief have heard the night raven, come what plague
could have come after it.

The men see Benedick hide, and Claudio notes Benedick’s hiding place. Now they’ll go have a loud and manipulative conversation right by Benedick’s hiding spot.

Don Pedro asks Balthasar to sing a song.

Balthasar’s all "Oh I can’t sing so well," so everyone else can say, "No! You’re the best singer in the world!"

Balthasar notes that he’s like a suitor who will approach a girl thinking she doesn’t deserve him, but then he’ll go on and try to woo her anyway, and even declare he loves her.

As Balthasar sings, Benedick mocks him from behind his tree. When he's done, Benedick says that if a dog had made that kind of noise, someone would have hanged it.

PRINCE Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray
thee get us some excellent music, for tomorrow 90
night we would have it at the Lady Hero’s chamber
window.

BALTHASAR The best I can, my lord.

PRINCE Do so. Farewell.

Balthasar exits.

Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of 95
today, that your niece Beatrice was in love with
Signior Benedick?

CLAUDIO O, ay. Aside to Prince. Stalk on, stalk on; the
fowl sits.—I did never think that lady would have
loved any man. 100

LEONATO No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that
she should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she
hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to
abhor.

BENEDICK, aside Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that 105
corner?

LEONATO By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to
think of it, but that she loves him with an enraged
affection, it is past the infinite of thought.

PRINCE Maybe she doth but counterfeit. 110

CLAUDIO Faith, like enough.

LEONATO O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit
of passion came so near the life of passion as
she discovers it.

PRINCE Why, what effects of passion shows she? 115

CLAUDIO, aside to Leonato Bait the hook well; this fish
will bite.

LEONATO What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you
heard my daughter tell you how.

CLAUDIO She did indeed. 120

PRINCE How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would
have thought her spirit had been invincible against
all assaults of affection.

LEONATO I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially
against Benedick. 125

BENEDICK, aside I should think this a gull but that the
white-bearded fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot,
sure, hide himself in such reverence.

CLAUDIO, aside to Prince He hath ta’en th’ infection.
Hold it up. 130

Prince Don Pedro sends Balthasar away to seek out some really good music for tomorrow night so they can play it outside Hero's window. Then Leonato, Don Pedro, and Claudio have a super-obvious conversation meant to make Benedick fall in love with Beatrice.

The discussion essentially amounts to the fact that Beatrice is in love with Benedick, though she seems to hate him outwardly. They say they’ve heard all this news from Hero, who Beatrice confides in.

Benedick is surprised, but definitely interested in this news.

Prince Don Pedro keeps saying he can't believe it, but Leonato insists it's true.

Claudio quietly notes that Benedick is totally buying their act. It's time to reel him in.

PRINCE Hath she made her affection known to
Benedick?

LEONATO No, and swears she never will. That’s her
torment.

CLAUDIO ’Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall 135
I,” says she, “that have so oft encountered him with
scorn, write to him that I love him?”

LEONATO This says she now when she is beginning to
write to him, for she’ll be up twenty times a night,
and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ 140
a sheet of paper. My daughter tells us all.

CLAUDIO Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember
a pretty jest your daughter told us of.

LEONATO O, when she had writ it and was reading it
over, she found “Benedick” and “Beatrice” between 145
the sheet?

CLAUDIO That.

LEONATO O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence,
railed at herself that she should be so
immodest to write to one that she knew would flout 150
her. “I measure him,” says she, “by my own spirit,
for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea, though I
love him, I should.”

CLAUDIO Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps,
sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: 155
“O sweet Benedick, God give me patience!”

LEONATO She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and
the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my
daughter is sometimes afeared she will do a desperate
outrage to herself. It is very true. 160

PRINCE It were good that Benedick knew of it by some
other, if she will not discover it.

CLAUDIO To what end? He would make but a sport of it
and torment the poor lady worse.

PRINCE An he should, it were an alms to hang him. 165
She’s an excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion,
she is virtuous.

CLAUDIO And she is exceeding wise.

PRINCE In everything but in loving Benedick.

LEONATO O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in 170
so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that
blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have
just cause, being her uncle and her guardian.

PRINCE I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I
would have daffed all other respects and made her 175
half myself. I pray you tell Benedick of it, and hear
what he will say.

LEONATO Were it good, think you?

CLAUDIO Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says
she will die if he love her not, and she will die ere 180
she make her love known, and she will die if he woo
her rather than she will bate one breath of her
accustomed crossness.

PRINCE She doth well. If she should make tender of
her love, ’tis very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, 185
as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit.

Don Pedro asks if Beatrice has told Benedick how she feels and Leonato says no, and she never will. She worries that he wouldn't believe her if she seemed to switch suddenly from hating him so completely to loving him so fervently. And so, she is tormented.

Things are so bad that Hero worries Beatrice might even hurt herself—that’s how deeply tormented she is by her secret love for Benedick.

It seems that Beatrice’s love for Benedick will kill her in one of the three ways: 1) she’ll die if he doesn’t love her; 2) she’ll die before ever revealing her love to him; or 3) she’ll die if he woos her, because it would kill her to be a gentle wooed maid instead of her usual biting self. (They really lay it on thick.)

The talk then turns to whether they should tell Benedick about Beatrice’s secret love for him. They all loudly declare (for Benedick to hear) that this is a bad idea, because Benedick is too proud to hear about Beatrice’s love without scorning her.

CLAUDIO He is a very proper man.

PRINCE He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

CLAUDIO Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

PRINCE He doth indeed show some sparks that are like 190
wit.

CLAUDIO And I take him to be valiant.

PRINCE As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing
of quarrels you may say he is wise, for either he
avoids them with great discretion or undertakes 195
them with a most Christianlike fear.

LEONATO If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep
peace. If he break the peace, he ought to enter into
a quarrel with fear and trembling.

PRINCE And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, 200
howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests
he will make. Well, I am sorry for your niece. Shall
we go seek Benedick and tell him of her love?

CLAUDIO Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out
with good counsel. 205

LEONATO Nay, that’s impossible; she may wear her
heart out first.

PRINCE Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter.
Let it cool the while. I love Benedick well, and I
could wish he would modestly examine himself to 210
see how much he is unworthy so good a lady.

LEONATO My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

Leonato, Prince, and Claudio begin to exit.

CLAUDIO, aside to Prince and Leonato If he do not
dote on her upon this, I will never trust my
expectation. 215

PRINCE, aside to Leonato Let there be the same net
spread for her, and that must your daughter and her
gentlewomen carry. The sport will be when they
hold one an opinion of another’s dotage, and no
such matter. That’s the scene that I would see, 220
which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send her
to call him in to dinner.

Prince, Leonato, and Claudio exit.

Next, the men take some time to praise Benedick, saying what a noble, brave, and witty man he is.

Prince Don Pedro asks one more time if maybe they should tell him, but Leonato says no way. They should just let it go, and maybe she'll eventually get over him.

Prince Don Pedro says okay, but gee. Benedick is such a good guy. I hate to see him let such a worthy woman slip away.

Certain that their task is done, they go off to dinner, snickering to themselves.

When they’re out of earshot of Benedick, Don Pedro says that they’ve got to get the girls to perform the same trick on Beatrice.

Don Pedro delights in thinking of the time when Benedick and Beatrice will face each other; they’ll both be struck speechless by feelings completely opposite to their professed anti-loving natures. Their usual witty word play will become like watching mimes.

They plot to send Beatrice to call Benedick into dinner, because that will be hilariously awkward.

BENEDICK, coming forward This can be no trick. The
conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of
this from Hero; they seem to pity the lady. It seems 225
her affections have their full bent. Love me? Why, it
must be requited! I hear how I am censured. They
say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love
come from her. They say, too, that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection. I did never think 230
to marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they
that hear their detractions and can put them to
mending. They say the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can
bear them witness. And virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot
reprove it. And wise, but for loving me; by my troth, 235
it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of
her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her! I
may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of
wit broken on me because I have railed so long
against marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A 240
man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot
endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and
these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the
career of his humor? No! The world must be peopled.
When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not 245think I should live till I were married. Here comes
Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy some
marks of love in her.

Benedick, who had been listening to Don Pedro & Co.’s conversation, didn't realize that he was supposed to be listening.

He seems shocked by what he heard. He says he would believe the whole conversation was a trick, except the old, venerable Leonato participated in the conversation, so it must’ve been legitimate.

Anyway, Benedick heard his friend’s criticism that he seemed proud, and says this is a great opportunity to improve himself.

In fact, Benedick says to himself, Beatrice is a great girl. If her greatest foolishness is to love him, then he can love her in return. He’s certain he’ll endure some teasing for changing his opinion on marriage so abruptly, but people change over time. And besides, the world has to be populated.

Enter Beatrice.

BEATRICE Against my will, I am sent to bid you come
in to dinner. 250

BENEDICK Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

BEATRICE I took no more pains for those thanks than
you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I
would not have come.

BENEDICK You take pleasure then in the message? 255

BEATRICE Yea, just so much as you may take upon a
knife’s point and choke a daw withal. You have no
stomach, signior. Fare you well.

She exits.

BENEDICK Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you
come in to dinner.” There’s a double meaning in 260
that. “I took no more pains for those thanks than
you took pains to thank me.” That’s as much as to
say “Any pains that I take for you is as easy as
thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I
do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. 265

He exits.

Beatrice was sent to call Benedick to dinner, so she approaches. Benedick already imagines that he sees signs of love for him written all over her.

The two have a strange little exchange. Benedick is all flattery and kindness (recall the beginning of the scene when he criticized Claudio for acting this way…) and Beatrice is confused about his change in attitude toward her.

She excuses herself, and Benedick misinterprets the brief interaction, mistaking "she’s trying to escape from me" for "she clearly likes me."

Benedick declares he’ll love Beatrice, because to not love her would make him stingy, although he uses a racial slur to communicate that idea. Thanks, Shakespeare.

Much Ado About Nothing: Act 2, Scene 3 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 3 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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