- The Dude returns to his ratty apartment, anticipating another peaceful night of weed and White Russians. That's what the Half & Half is for.
- It's not to be. Instead, there are two tough guys in the apartment. One of them grabs him by the collar and repeatedly dunks his head in the toilet, demanding, "Where's the money, Lebowski?"
- The Dude isn't exactly Daddy Warbucks, so he tells them he doesn't have any money. The guy tells The Dude, "Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn, so that means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn."
- Then, one of the toughs unzips his pants and pees on The Dude's beloved rug. Nasty, man.
- The toughs slowly realize that maybe they've got the wrong guy, considering The Dude isn't a millionaire and doesn't have a wife, and his apartment is uber-crappy.
- They leave, and The Dude goes bowling.