ShmoopTube

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Frankenstein, a la Shmoop. My name is Captain Walton.

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After I'd failed at everything else, I took off for the Arctic in search of fame and glory,

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because... okay, in retrospect, it doesn't make a ton of sense.

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But there I was on my ship, just floating around, when my crew and I came across this

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guy who was so cold, he'd turned into a Popsicle.

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Turns out his name was Victor Frankenstein, and boy, did he have a story.

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It all started when Victor was a kid. He wanted to do something completely insane with his

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life, like harnessing the power of lightning...

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...or joining a rock band...

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...or marrying his adopted sister, Elizabeth.

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In college, Victor was determined to make a name for himself as a scientist.

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He overcame every obstacle in his path, and figured out a way to reanimate the dead.

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I would have looked for a cure for cancer, but hey, that's just me.

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Victor decided he couldn't reanimate just any corpse. Using Play-doh and toothpicks,

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he patched together a body to bring to life.

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But then, during the reanimation process, something went horribly, horribly wrong.

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The Play-doh didn't hold up to Victor's weird science, and his creation turned outÉ fugly.

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Like, really, really fugly.

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Then a stray toothpick flew out of nowhere and jabbed Victor in the eye, sending him

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running from the room in search of a first aid kit.

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Unfortunately, Victor's creature thought his maker fled because of his fugliness, so the

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creature made like a tree andÉ leafed. According to Victor, things went downhill

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from there. When his kid brother was murdered, he just knew the monster had committed the

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crime.

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The monster told Victor to make another monster...

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...a female one this time, please and thank you, so the original monster could have a

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girlfriend.

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If Victor would just create a woman for him, then the soon-to-be world's most monstrous

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couple would disappear forever. Victor thought the whole reanimation thing

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might go better if he constructed the body out of haggis, so he retired to the north

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of Scotland and got to work on monster part deux.

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However, as Victor worked, he kept thinking about the potential consequences of his actions.

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What if his creations had babies? What if those babies had babies?

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Victor wasn't sure the world could handle it.

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So...he destroyed the monster's girlfriend... while the monster watched. Not his best idea

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ever. In retaliation, the monster murdered Victor's

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BFF.

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Then, once Victor had married his adopted sister, the monster offed her, too.

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Next, Victor's dad dropped dead of grief. How many deaths are we up to now?

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Victor chased the monster towards the North Pole, and was just about to ask Santa Claus

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and his reindeer for directions, when my crew and I picked him up.

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Victor begged to continue north; my crew was tired of icebergs and polar bears, and wanted

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to go south. Guess who won that argument?

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And then, of course, because there hasn't already been enough death in this story, Victor

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kicked the bucket, too.

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The monster showed up on my ship to mourn his maker's demise, miserable because killing

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people had alienated him from humanity even more than his hideous appearance had.

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So... if you take anything away from this tragic tale, just remember this:

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Be very, very careful what you sculpt out of Play-doh.

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