ShmoopTube

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The Awakening, a la Shmoop. I love being a wife and mother. Mostly. Kind

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of. A bit.

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It's great, really, but when you're wiping noses and planning dinners and getting bossed

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around by your husband, you kind of lose track of your inner self. …

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That's why I really enjoyed my trip to Grand Isle. Lots of down time with my friend Adele,

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Madame Reisz <Rice>, and that hunky Robert. I know, I'm married, but a girl can dream,

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can't she? Robert and I went for lots of long, platonic

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walks on the beach. And long swims, too. I swam a little too far one night, it was touch

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and go for a minute there…

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…but I made it back. Thank goodness. I was so wired that I defied my bossy husband by

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staying up past bedtime.

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I think he was worried that this would send me down a path of vice and crime. …

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It didn't…at least, not the crime part. But I was changing into a new, improved version

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of myself. Now I was “Take Charge Edna,” …

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… a sassy gal who marched to the beat of her own drummer. …

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In another dramatic development, I was really starting to crush on Robert. Unfortunately,

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I didn't realize this until he decided to leave for Mexico. ..

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Even worse, vacation was over and I had to go home. …

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But once I got back, I wasn't really interested in being the perfect wife anymore. So I stopped

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trying, and started… painting. My husband was a bit upset about my new life direction.

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Rebellion was liberating, but something was still missing. I decided that I had to get

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my own place, with my own money.

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So I got a little house where I could be independent and artistic, and… maybe hook up every now

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and then. Mademoiselle Reisz really wanted me to become

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“the hero of my own life,” as Dickens would put it, and she showed me letters from

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Robert, saying that he loved me.

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I was at a bit of a crossroads in my life, but Take Charge Edna knew exactly which way

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to go!

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While I was expanding my mental horizons, I had a fling with the local heartbreaker,

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Alcée Arobin <All-SAY Air-oh-BAN>. I didn't love him the way I loved Robert, but in my

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defense… he was really cute.

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I was pretty sure that I should hate myself for moving out and cheating on my husband...but

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I had a hard time seeing all this happiness as a bad thing.

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Stuff got weird when I heard that Robert was coming back from Mexico. Imagine my surprise

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when I ran into him at Mademoiselle Reisz’ house.

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That deadbeat had been in town for almost two days, and his fingers must have been broken,

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because I didn’t get a letter or a phone call!

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Also, he had a little pouch that he got from some hussy in Mexico. Not that I was jealous

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or anything.

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And if you think that situation was awkward, Alcée then showed up, and Robert vamoosed.

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I sent Alcée away, too…I just wasn’t in the mood for love anymore. I’m so fickle.

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It was another few days before I ran into Robert again, and things went a little better

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this time. I took him back to my new house for smoochies, and we took the next relationship

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step! The L-word!

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Naturally, this was when I heard that my friend Adele was in labor, and I had to go be her

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birth coach. It was kind of well-timed, though, because Robert was getting all moony-eyed

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about marriage. Just when I was starting to enjoy life as an eligible bachelorette.

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I made Robert promise to stay right where he was, but when I got back from Adele’s,

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he was gone. He only left a note, saying, “Goodbye, because I love you.” Come on,

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Rob, lighten up…not every woman needs a ring on it!

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I was in a pretty dark emotional place after that. …

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I went back to our vacation spot at Grand Isle, but that was even more depressing. I

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thought maybe a nice skinny dip would cheer me up. It was kind of a bust, though, because

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I ended up drowning.

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Do yourself a favor…if you ever have a mid-life crisis, just buy

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a convertible!

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