A side-by-side translation of Act 3, Scene 2 of The Merry Wives of Windsor from the original Shakespeare into modern English.
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Translated Text |
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Source: Folger Shakespeare Library | |
Enter Robin followed by Mistress Page. MISTRESS PAGE ROBIN I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man 5 MISTRESS PAGE Enter Ford. FORD Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you? MISTRESS PAGE FORD MISTRESS PAGE FORD MISTRESS PAGE ROBIN FORD MISTRESS PAGE FORD Indeed, she is. 25 MISTRESS PAGE Mistress Page and Robin exit. FORD | On a street in Windsor, Falstaff's boy servant (Robin) follows Mistress Page around like a little puppy. They're on their way to see Mistress Ford when they bump into Mistress Ford's jealous, insecure husband. Master Ford makes a snide crack about his wife's friendship with Mistress Page, saying he thinks that they'd marry each other if their husbands were dead. Mistress Page quips back that, sure, they'd get remarried all right…to "two other husbands." Take that! Ford asks who Robin works for and Mistress Page pretends not to remember the guy's name. (That would be Falstaff and Master Ford knows it.) Now Ford is totally convinced that Falstaff is sleeping with Mistress Page and Mistress Ford—which is probably just the reaction Mistress Page wanted when she denied knowing Falstaff's name. After Mistress Page and Robin leave, Ford delivers another nasty soliloquy about how he plans to catch Falstaff with his wife so he can (1) "torture" her, (2) make Mistress Page look like a bimbo, and (3) show everyone that Master Page is a chump. He tells us he's going to run home so he can catch Falstaff and his wife together. |
Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC. FORD Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at SHALLOW SLENDER And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine SHALLOW We have lingered about a match between 55 SLENDER PAGE DOCTOR CAIUS Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My | Page, Shallow, Slender, the Host, Evans, John Rugby, and Caius show up. Great! Now Ford will have an audience when he confronts his wife. He invites the guys back to his house and promises them a good time. Slender and Shallow can't make it. They're on their way to the Page house to have dinner with Anne. Slender's hoping to win her over with his best moves. Yeah, good luck with that. Page tells everyone that he wants his daughter to marry Slender, but her mom wants her to get hitched to Doctor Caius. Caius adds that his nurse has told him Anne's in love with him. (Yeah...about that, Doc. Mistress Quickly isn't exactly a reliable source on that topic.) |
HOST, to Page What say you to young Master Fenton? PAGE Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman FORD SHALLOW Shallow and Slender exit. DOCTOR CAIUS Go home, John Rugby. I come anon. Rugby exits. HOST He exits. FORD, aside PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, AND SIR HUGH Have with you to 90 They exit. | The Host chimes in that Fenton seems like a good candidate—he's young, likes to dance, writes poetry, always smells good, and knows how to talk to girls. Page says no way. Fenton is an aristocrat and Page doesn't want his daughter marrying someone outside her social class. Besides, Page says that Fenton just wants Anne for her money and points out that he used to hang out with hoodlums like the Prince of Wales and a loser named Poins. Brain Snack: This is a shout-out to Henry IV Part 1, where wild Prince Hal and his low-life pals (Ned Poins, Falstaff, and Bardolph) raised hell all throughout Eastcheap London. Ford convinces Page, Caius, and Evans to go home with him by promising that he'll show them not only some "cheer," but also a monster. Intrigued, they go with him. |