A football. The ol' pigskin. You can't play the game without it.

Helmet and pads. You're going to hit and be hit. Helmets and pads help you survive this process. Today's gear also does a way better job of protecting you than the getup of yesteryear.

Marshmallows and pillows don't protect you as well as they should. (Source)

A field. You'll definitely need one of these.

An awesome football nickname. Like Jazzmar Clax of UConn or Thaddeus Snodgrass of Kentucky. Or NFL players Alge Crumpler or Richie Incognito.

Size. The stereotype that only the hugest of the dudes play football exists for a reason. As NFL great William "Refrigerator" Perry once put it, "I've been big ever since I was little." We figure they must have called him "mini-fridge" back then.