Troilus and Cressida: Act 2, Scene 3 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 3 of Troilus and Cressida from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Thersites, alone. THERSITES How now, Thersites? What, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? He beats me, and I rail at him. O, worthy satisfaction! Would it were otherwise, that I could beat him whilst he railed at me. ’Sfoot, I’ll learn to 5 conjure and raise devils but I’ll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there’s Achilles, a rare enginer! If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, 10 forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy caduceus, if you take not that little, little, less than little wit from them that they have, which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant 15 scarce it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider without drawing their massy irons and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! Or rather, the Neapolitan bone-ache! For that, methinks, is the curse depending 20 on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers, and devil Envy say “Amen.”—What ho, my lord Achilles! PATROCLUS, within Who’s there? Thersites? Good Thersites, come in and rail. 25 THERSITES If I could ’a remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou couldst not have slipped out of my contemplation. But it is no matter. Thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! Heaven bless thee from 30 a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death; then if she that lays thee out says thou art a fair corse, I’ll be sworn and sworn upon ’t she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. 35 Enter Patroclus. Where’s Achilles? PATROCLUS What, art thou devout? Wast thou in prayer? THERSITES Ay. The heavens hear me! PATROCLUS Amen. 40 ACHILLES, within Who’s there? PATROCLUS Thersites, my lord. ACHILLES, within Where? Where? O, where? Enter Achilles. To Thersites. Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my 45 table so many meals? Come, what’s Agamemnon? THERSITES Thy commander, Achilles.—Then, tell me, Patroclus, what’s Achilles? PATROCLUS Thy lord, Thersites. Then, tell me, I pray thee, what’s Thersites? 50 THERSITES Thy knower, Patroclus. Then, tell me, Patroclus, what art thou? PATROCLUS Thou must tell that knowest. ACHILLES O tell, tell. THERSITES I’ll decline the whole question. Agamemnon 55 commands Achilles, Achilles is my lord, I am Patroclus’ knower, and Patroclus is a fool. PATROCLUS You rascal! THERSITES Peace, fool. I have not done. ACHILLES, to Patroclus He is a privileged man.—Proceed, 60 Thersites. THERSITES Agamemnon is a fool, Achilles is a fool, Thersites is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. ACHILLES Derive this. Come. 65 THERSITES Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles, Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon, Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and this Patroclus is a fool positive. PATROCLUS Why am I a fool? 70 THERSITES Make that demand of the creator. It suffices me thou art. Enter at a distance Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor, Diomedes, Ajax, and Calchas. Look you, who comes here? ACHILLES Patroclus, I’ll speak with nobody.—Come in with me, Thersites. 75 He exits.	Back at the Greek camp, Thersites rants and raves about how much he hates that "elephant Ajax." He rags on Achilles, too, and asks the gods to destroy the entire Greek army. Better yet, he says, he wishes the whole Greek army would get the "Neapolitan bone-ache." Brain Snack: What the heck's the "Neapolitan bone-ache"? That would be syphilis, which was thought to have originated in Naples. We told you there was a lot of talk about disease in this play. According to Thersites, syphilis would be a fitting punishment for a bunch of guys who have gone to war over a "placket." ("Placket" is a slang term for "woman." It literally means a "slit" in a petticoat so, Thersites is being pretty gross here.) Patroclus and Achilles come out from Achilles' tent, and Thersites just can't keep his mouth shut. When Agamemnon and his posse finally show up, Achilles runs back into his tent and refuses to come out and talk to anyone.
THERSITES Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery. All the argument is a whore and a cuckold, a good quarrel to draw emulous factions and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on the subject, and war and lechery confound all! 80 He exits. AGAMEMNON, to Patroclus Where is Achilles? PATROCLUS Within his tent, but ill-disposed, my lord. AGAMEMNON Let it be known to him that we are here. He shent our messengers, and we lay by Our appertainments, visiting of him. 85 Let him be told so, lest perchance he think We dare not move the question of our place Or know not what we are. PATROCLUS I shall say so to him. He exits. ULYSSES We saw him at the opening of his tent. 90 He is not sick. AJAX Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart. You may call it melancholy if you will favor the man, but, by my head, ’tis pride. But, why, why? Let him show us a cause.—A word, my lord. 95 He and Agamemnon walk aside. NESTOR What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? ULYSSES Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. NESTOR Who, Thersites? ULYSSES He. NESTOR Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his 100 argument. ULYSSES No. You see, he is his argument that has his argument: Achilles. NESTOR All the better. Their fraction is more our wish than their faction. But it was a strong composure a 105 fool could disunite. ULYSSES The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. Enter Patroclus. Here comes Patroclus. NESTOR No Achilles with him. 110 ULYSSES The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure. PATROCLUS, to Agamemnon Achilles bids me say he is much sorry If anything more than your sport and pleasure Did move your greatness and this noble state 115 To call upon him. He hopes it is no other But for your health and your digestion sake, An after-dinner’s breath. AGAMEMNON Hear you, Patroclus: We are too well acquainted with these answers, 120 But his evasion, winged thus swift with scorn, Cannot outfly our apprehensions. Much attribute he hath, and much the reason Why we ascribe it to him. Yet all his virtues, Not virtuously on his own part beheld, 125 Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss, Yea, and like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish, Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin If you do say we think him overproud 130 And underhonest, in self-assumption greater Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than himself Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on, Disguise the holy strength of their command, 135 And underwrite in an observing kind His humorous predominance—yea, watch His course and time, his ebbs and flows, as if The passage and whole carriage of this action Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add 140 That, if he overhold his price so much, We’ll none of him. But let him, like an engine Not portable, lie under this report: “Bring action hither; this cannot go to war.” A stirring dwarf we do allowance give 145 Before a sleeping giant. Tell him so. PATROCLUS I shall, and bring his answer presently. AGAMEMNON In second voice we’ll not be satisfied; We come to speak with him.—Ulysses, enter you. Ulysses exits, with Patroclus.	Patroclus is all "Sorry, Achilles is sick and can't leave the tent." (We hope he doesn't have the dreaded "Neapolitan bone-ache!" J/K. We know he's totally faking.) Ulysses is all "Gee. If Achilles is so ill, why did I just see him standing outside his tent?" Ajax isn't buying any of this either. He says Achilles is "sick" all right—"Lion-sick." (Read: Achilles is way too proud.) Ajax takes Agamemnon aside and they whisper privately. Then, Agamemnon has Patroclus deliver a message to Achilles, which sounds like this: Dear Achilles: You're acting like a big baby by refusing to come out of your tent to fight. Get your butt out here ASAP... or we'll disown you. Love, Agamemnon. Finally, Ulysses goes inside the tent to work his own persuasive magic.
AJAX What is he more than another? 150 AGAMEMNON No more than what he thinks he is. AJAX Is he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself a better man than I am? AGAMEMNON No question. AJAX Will you subscribe his thought and say he is? 155 AGAMEMNON No, noble Ajax. You are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. AJAX Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. 160 AGAMEMNON Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud eats up himself. Pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed devours the deed in the praise. 165 AJAX I do hate a proud man as I hate the engendering of toads. NESTOR, aside And yet he loves himself. Is ’t not strange? Enter Ulysses. ULYSSES Achilles will not to the field tomorrow. AGAMEMNON What’s his excuse? 170 ULYSSES He doth rely on none, But carries on the stream of his dispose, Without observance or respect of any, In will peculiar and in self-admission. AGAMEMNON Why, will he not, upon our fair request, 175 Untent his person and share th’ air with us? ULYSSES Things small as nothing, for request’s sake only, He makes important. Possessed he is with greatness And speaks not to himself but with a pride That quarrels at self-breath. Imagined worth 180 Holds in his blood such swoll’n and hot discourse That ’twixt his mental and his active parts Kingdomed Achilles in commotion rages And batters down himself. What should I say? He is so plaguy proud that the death-tokens of it 185 Cry “No recovery.” AGAMEMNON Let Ajax go to him.— Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent. ’Tis said he holds you well and will be led At your request a little from himself. 190 ULYSSES O Agamemnon, let it not be so! We’ll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord That bastes his arrogance with his own seam And never suffers matter of the world 195 Enter his thoughts, save such as doth revolve And ruminate himself—shall he be worshipped Of that we hold an idol more than he? No. This thrice-worthy and right valiant lord Shall not so stale his palm, nobly acquired, 200 Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit, As amply titled as Achilles is, By going to Achilles. That were to enlard his fat-already pride And add more coals to Cancer when he burns 205 With entertaining great Hyperion. This lord go to him? Jupiter forbid And say in thunder “Achilles, go to him.” NESTOR, aside to Diomedes O, this is well; he rubs the vein of him. DIOMEDES, aside to Nestor And how his silence drinks up this applause! 210 AJAX If I go to him, with my armèd fist I’ll pash him o’er the face. AGAMEMNON O, no, you shall not go. AJAX An he be proud with me, I’ll feeze his pride. Let me go to him. 215 ULYSSES Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel. AJAX A paltry, insolent fellow. NESTOR, aside How he describes himself! AJAX Can he not be sociable? ULYSSES, aside The raven chides blackness. 220 AJAX I’ll let his humorous blood. AGAMEMNON, aside He will be the physician that should be the patient. AJAX An all men were of my mind— ULYSSES, aside Wit would be out of fashion. 225 AJAX —he should not bear it so; he should eat swords first. Shall pride carry it? NESTOR, aside An ’twould, you’d carry half. ULYSSES, aside He would have ten shares. AJAX I will knead him; I’ll make him supple. 230 NESTOR, aside He’s not yet through warm. Force him with praises. Pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry. ULYSSES, to Agamemnon My lord, you feed too much on this dislike. NESTOR, to Agamemnon Our noble general, do not do so. DIOMEDES, to Agamemnon You must prepare to fight without Achilles. 235 ULYSSES Why, ’tis this naming of him does him harm. Here is a man—but ’tis before his face; I will be silent. NESTOR Wherefore should you so? He is not emulous, as Achilles is. 240 ULYSSES Know the whole world, he is as valiant— AJAX A whoreson dog, that shall palter with us thus! Would he were a Trojan! NESTOR What a vice were it in Ajax now— ULYSSES If he were proud— 245 DIOMEDES Or covetous of praise— ULYSSES Ay, or surly borne— DIOMEDES Or strange, or self-affected— ULYSSES, to Ajax Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure. 250 Praise him that gat thee, she that gave thee suck; Famed be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature Thrice famed beyond, beyond thy erudition; But he that disciplined thine arms to fight, Let Mars divide eternity in twain 255 And give him half; and for thy vigor, Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom, Which like a bourn, a pale, a shore confines Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here’s Nestor, 260 Instructed by the antiquary times; He must, he is, he cannot but be wise.— But pardon, father Nestor, were your days As green as Ajax’ and your brain so tempered, You should not have the eminence of him, 265 But be as Ajax. AJAX Shall I call you father? NESTOR Ay, my good son. DIOMEDES Be ruled by him, Lord Ajax. ULYSSES There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles 270 Keeps thicket. Please it our great general To call together all his state of war. Fresh kings are come to Troy. Tomorrow We must with all our main of power stand fast. And here’s a lord—come knights from east to west 275 And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best. AGAMEMNON Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep. Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep. They exit.	Meanwhile, Ajax is all "Hey Agamemnon, is Achilles really as good as he says he is? Like, say, as good as I am?" Insecure, much?Agamemnon wants to puff up Ajax's ego so he tells him that he thinks he's awesome. Ajax sneers that he totally hates "proud" men. Nestor LOLs at that, since Ajax is one of the proudest guys around. And here comes Ulysses, back from Achilles's tent to report that Achilles doesn't have a good excuse for not returning to battle. He just flat out refuses. Agamemnon suggests that maybe Ajax should try talking to Achilles, but Ulysses says this is a bad idea because Ajax is too awesome and important to stoop to such a low level. The guys stand around pumping up Ajax's ego until the dude's about ready to burst. And Ajax, proud as he is, doesn't even realize they're totally snickering behind his back the whole time.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Thersites, alone.

THERSITES How now, Thersites? What, lost in the
labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry
it thus? He beats me, and I rail at him. O, worthy
satisfaction! Would it were otherwise, that I could
beat him whilst he railed at me. ’Sfoot, I’ll learn to 5
conjure and raise devils but I’ll see some issue of
my spiteful execrations. Then there’s Achilles, a
rare enginer! If Troy be not taken till these two undermine
it, the walls will stand till they fall of
themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, 10
forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods;
and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy
caduceus, if you take not that little, little, less than
little wit from them that they have, which short-armed
ignorance itself knows is so abundant 15
scarce it will not in circumvention deliver a fly
from a spider without drawing their massy irons
and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on
the whole camp! Or rather, the Neapolitan bone-ache!
For that, methinks, is the curse depending 20
on those that war for a placket. I have said my
prayers, and devil Envy say “Amen.”—What ho,
my lord Achilles!

PATROCLUS, within
Who’s there? Thersites? Good
Thersites, come in and rail. 25

THERSITES
If I could ’a remembered a gilt counterfeit,
thou couldst not have slipped out of my contemplation.
But it is no matter. Thyself upon thyself! The
common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance,
be thine in great revenue! Heaven bless thee from 30
a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy
blood be thy direction till thy death; then if she
that lays thee out says thou art a fair corse, I’ll be
sworn and sworn upon ’t she never shrouded any
but lazars. Amen. 35

Enter Patroclus.

Where’s Achilles?

PATROCLUS
What, art thou devout? Wast thou in
prayer?

THERSITES
Ay. The heavens hear me!

PATROCLUS
Amen. 40

ACHILLES, within
Who’s there?

PATROCLUS
Thersites, my lord.

ACHILLES, within
Where? Where? O, where?

Enter Achilles.

To Thersites. Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my
digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my 45
table so many meals? Come, what’s Agamemnon?

THERSITES Thy commander, Achilles.—Then, tell me,
Patroclus, what’s Achilles?

PATROCLUS
Thy lord, Thersites. Then, tell me, I pray
thee, what’s Thersites? 50

THERSITES
Thy knower, Patroclus. Then, tell me, Patroclus,
what art thou?

PATROCLUS
Thou must tell that knowest.

ACHILLES
O tell, tell.

THERSITES
I’ll decline the whole question. Agamemnon 55
commands Achilles, Achilles is my lord, I am
Patroclus’ knower, and Patroclus is a fool.

PATROCLUS
You rascal!

THERSITES
Peace, fool. I have not done.

ACHILLES, to Patroclus
He is a privileged man.—Proceed, 60
Thersites.

THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool, Achilles is a fool,
Thersites is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a
fool.

ACHILLES Derive this. Come. 65

THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command
Achilles, Achilles is a fool to be commanded of
Agamemnon, Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool,
and this Patroclus is a fool positive.

PATROCLUS Why am I a fool? 70

THERSITES
Make that demand of the creator. It suffices
me thou art.

Enter at a distance Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor,
Diomedes, Ajax, and Calchas.

Look you, who comes here?

ACHILLES
Patroclus, I’ll speak with nobody.—Come in
with me, Thersites. 75

He exits.

Back at the Greek camp, Thersites rants and raves about how much he hates that "elephant Ajax." He rags on Achilles, too, and asks the gods to destroy the entire Greek army. Better yet, he says, he wishes the whole Greek army would get the "Neapolitan bone-ache."

Brain Snack: What the heck's the "Neapolitan bone-ache"? That would be syphilis, which was thought to have originated in Naples. We told you there was a lot of talk about disease in this play.

According to Thersites, syphilis would be a fitting punishment for a bunch of guys who have gone to war over a "placket." ("Placket" is a slang term for "woman." It literally means a "slit" in a petticoat so, Thersites is being pretty gross here.)

Patroclus and Achilles come out from Achilles' tent, and Thersites just can't keep his mouth shut.

When Agamemnon and his posse finally show up, Achilles runs back into his tent and refuses to come out and talk to anyone.

THERSITES
Here is such patchery, such juggling, and
such knavery. All the argument is a whore and a
cuckold, a good quarrel to draw emulous factions
and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on
the subject, and war and lechery confound all! 80

He exits.

AGAMEMNON, to Patroclus
Where is Achilles?

PATROCLUS
Within his tent, but ill-disposed, my lord.

AGAMEMNON
Let it be known to him that we are here.
He shent our messengers, and we lay by
Our appertainments, visiting of him. 85
Let him be told so, lest perchance he think
We dare not move the question of our place
Or know not what we are.

PATROCLUS
I shall say so to him.

He exits.

ULYSSES
We saw him at the opening of his tent. 90
He is not sick.

AJAX
Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart. You may call
it melancholy if you will favor the man, but, by my
head, ’tis pride. But, why, why? Let him show us a
cause.—A word, my lord. 95

He and Agamemnon walk aside.

NESTOR
What moves Ajax thus to bay at him?

ULYSSES
Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him.

NESTOR
Who, Thersites?

ULYSSES
He.

NESTOR
Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his 100
argument.

ULYSSES
No. You see, he is his argument that has his
argument: Achilles.

NESTOR
All the better. Their fraction is more our wish
than their faction. But it was a strong composure a 105
fool could disunite.

ULYSSES
The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may
easily untie.

Enter Patroclus.

Here comes Patroclus.

NESTOR
No Achilles with him. 110

ULYSSES
The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy;
his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure.

PATROCLUS, to Agamemnon
Achilles bids me say he is much sorry
If anything more than your sport and pleasure
Did move your greatness and this noble state 115
To call upon him. He hopes it is no other
But for your health and your digestion sake,
An after-dinner’s breath.

AGAMEMNON
Hear you, Patroclus:
We are too well acquainted with these answers, 120
But his evasion, winged thus swift with scorn,
Cannot outfly our apprehensions.
Much attribute he hath, and much the reason
Why we ascribe it to him. Yet all his virtues,
Not virtuously on his own part beheld, 125
Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss,
Yea, and like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish,
Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him
We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin
If you do say we think him overproud 130
And underhonest, in self-assumption greater
Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than
himself
Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on,
Disguise the holy strength of their command, 135
And underwrite in an observing kind
His humorous predominance—yea, watch
His course and time, his ebbs and flows, as if
The passage and whole carriage of this action
Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add 140
That, if he overhold his price so much,
We’ll none of him. But let him, like an engine
Not portable, lie under this report:
“Bring action hither; this cannot go to war.”
A stirring dwarf we do allowance give 145
Before a sleeping giant. Tell him so.

PATROCLUS
I shall, and bring his answer presently.

AGAMEMNON
In second voice we’ll not be satisfied;
We come to speak with him.—Ulysses, enter you.

Ulysses exits, with Patroclus.

Patroclus is all "Sorry, Achilles is sick and can't leave the tent." (We hope he doesn't have the dreaded "Neapolitan bone-ache!" J/K. We know he's totally faking.)

Ulysses is all "Gee. If Achilles is so ill, why did I just see him standing outside his tent?" Ajax isn't buying any of this either. He says Achilles is "sick" all right—"Lion-sick." (Read: Achilles is way too proud.)

Ajax takes Agamemnon aside and they whisper privately. Then, Agamemnon has Patroclus deliver a message to Achilles, which sounds like this: Dear Achilles: You're acting like a big baby by refusing to come out of your tent to fight. Get your butt out here ASAP... or we'll disown you. Love, Agamemnon.

Finally, Ulysses goes inside the tent to work his own persuasive magic.

AJAX
What is he more than another? 150

AGAMEMNON
No more than what he thinks he is.

AJAX
Is he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself
a better man than I am?

AGAMEMNON
No question.

AJAX Will you subscribe his thought and say he is? 155

AGAMEMNON No, noble Ajax. You are as strong, as
valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle,
and altogether more tractable.

AJAX Why should a man be proud? How doth pride
grow? I know not what pride is. 160

AGAMEMNON
Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your
virtues the fairer. He that is proud eats up himself.
Pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own
chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the
deed devours the deed in the praise. 165

AJAX
I do hate a proud man as I hate the engendering
of toads.

NESTOR, aside
And yet he loves himself. Is ’t not strange?

Enter Ulysses.

ULYSSES
Achilles will not to the field tomorrow.

AGAMEMNON
What’s his excuse? 170

ULYSSES
He doth rely on none,
But carries on the stream of his dispose,
Without observance or respect of any,
In will peculiar and in self-admission.

AGAMEMNON
Why, will he not, upon our fair request, 175
Untent his person and share th’ air with us?

ULYSSES
Things small as nothing, for request’s sake only,
He makes important. Possessed he is with greatness
And speaks not to himself but with a pride
That quarrels at self-breath. Imagined worth 180
Holds in his blood such swoll’n and hot discourse
That ’twixt his mental and his active parts
Kingdomed Achilles in commotion rages
And batters down himself. What should I say?
He is so plaguy proud that the death-tokens of it 185
Cry “No recovery.”

AGAMEMNON
Let Ajax go to him.—
Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent.
’Tis said he holds you well and will be led
At your request a little from himself. 190

ULYSSES
O Agamemnon, let it not be so!
We’ll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord
That bastes his arrogance with his own seam
And never suffers matter of the world 195
Enter his thoughts, save such as doth revolve
And ruminate himself—shall he be worshipped
Of that we hold an idol more than he?
No. This thrice-worthy and right valiant lord
Shall not so stale his palm, nobly acquired, 200
Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,
As amply titled as Achilles is,
By going to Achilles.
That were to enlard his fat-already pride
And add more coals to Cancer when he burns 205
With entertaining great Hyperion.
This lord go to him? Jupiter forbid
And say in thunder “Achilles, go to him.”

NESTOR, aside to Diomedes
O, this is well; he rubs the vein of him.

DIOMEDES, aside to Nestor
And how his silence drinks up this applause! 210

AJAX
If I go to him, with my armèd fist
I’ll pash him o’er the face.

AGAMEMNON
O, no, you shall not go.

AJAX
An he be proud with me, I’ll feeze his pride.
Let me go to him. 215

ULYSSES
Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.

AJAX
A paltry, insolent fellow.

NESTOR, aside
How he describes himself!

AJAX
Can he not be sociable?

ULYSSES, aside
The raven chides blackness. 220

AJAX
I’ll let his humorous blood.

AGAMEMNON, aside
He will be the physician that
should be the patient.

AJAX
An all men were of my mind—

ULYSSES, aside
Wit would be out of fashion. 225

AJAX
—he should not bear it so; he should eat swords
first. Shall pride carry it?

NESTOR, aside
An ’twould, you’d carry half.

ULYSSES, aside
He would have ten shares.

AJAX
I will knead him; I’ll make him supple. 230

NESTOR, aside
He’s not yet through warm. Force him
with praises. Pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry.

ULYSSES, to Agamemnon
My lord, you feed too much on this dislike.

NESTOR, to Agamemnon
Our noble general, do not do so.

DIOMEDES, to Agamemnon
You must prepare to fight without Achilles. 235

ULYSSES
Why, ’tis this naming of him does him harm.
Here is a man—but ’tis before his face;
I will be silent.

NESTOR
Wherefore should you so?
He is not emulous, as Achilles is. 240

ULYSSES
Know the whole world, he is as valiant—

AJAX
A whoreson dog, that shall palter with us thus!
Would he were a Trojan!

NESTOR
What a vice were it in Ajax now—

ULYSSES
If he were proud— 245

DIOMEDES
Or covetous of praise—

ULYSSES
Ay, or surly borne—

DIOMEDES
Or strange, or self-affected—

ULYSSES, to Ajax
Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet
composure. 250
Praise him that gat thee, she that gave thee suck;
Famed be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature
Thrice famed beyond, beyond thy erudition;
But he that disciplined thine arms to fight,
Let Mars divide eternity in twain 255
And give him half; and for thy vigor,
Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield
To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom,
Which like a bourn, a pale, a shore confines
Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here’s Nestor, 260
Instructed by the antiquary times;
He must, he is, he cannot but be wise.—
But pardon, father Nestor, were your days
As green as Ajax’ and your brain so tempered,
You should not have the eminence of him, 265
But be as Ajax.

AJAX
Shall I call you father?

NESTOR
Ay, my good son.

DIOMEDES Be ruled by him, Lord Ajax.

ULYSSES
There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles 270
Keeps thicket. Please it our great general
To call together all his state of war.
Fresh kings are come to Troy. Tomorrow
We must with all our main of power stand fast.
And here’s a lord—come knights from east to west 275
And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best.

AGAMEMNON
Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep.
Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep.

They exit.

Meanwhile, Ajax is all "Hey Agamemnon, is Achilles really as good as he says he is?

Like, say, as good as I am?" Insecure, much?Agamemnon wants to puff up Ajax's ego so he tells him that he thinks he's awesome.

Ajax sneers that he totally hates "proud" men. Nestor LOLs at that, since Ajax is one of the proudest guys around.

And here comes Ulysses, back from Achilles's tent to report that Achilles doesn't have a good excuse for not returning to battle. He just flat out refuses.

Agamemnon suggests that maybe Ajax should try talking to Achilles, but Ulysses says this is a bad idea because Ajax is too awesome and important to stoop to such a low level.

The guys stand around pumping up Ajax's ego until the dude's about ready to burst. And Ajax, proud as he is, doesn't even realize they're totally snickering behind his back the whole time.

Troilus and Cressida: Act 2, Scene 3 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 3 of Troilus and Cressida from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

Tired of ads?