Enter at one door Aeneas with a Torchbearer, at
another Paris, Deiphobus, Antenor, Diomedes and
Grecians with torches. PARIS
See, ho! Who is that there? DEIPHOBUS
It is the Lord Aeneas. AENEAS
Is the Prince there in person?—
Had I so good occasion to lie long
As you, Prince Paris, nothing but heavenly business 5
Should rob my bedmate of my company. DIOMEDES
That’s my mind too.—Good morrow, Lord Aeneas. PARIS
A valiant Greek, Aeneas; take his hand.
Witness the process of your speech, wherein
You told how Diomed a whole week by days 10
Did haunt you in the field. AENEAS
Health to you, valiant sir,
During all question of the gentle truce;
But when I meet you armed, as black defiance
As heart can think or courage execute. 15 DIOMEDES
The one and other Diomed embraces.
Our bloods are now in calm, and, so long, health;
But when contention and occasion meet,
By Jove, I’ll play the hunter for thy life
With all my force, pursuit, and policy. 20 AENEAS
And thou shalt hunt a lion that will fly
With his face backward. In human gentleness,
Welcome to Troy. Now, by Anchises’ life,
Welcome indeed. By Venus’ hand I swear
No man alive can love in such a sort 25
The thing he means to kill more excellently. DIOMEDES
We sympathize. Jove, let Aeneas live,
If to my sword his fate be not the glory,
A thousand complete courses of the sun!
But in mine emulous honor let him die 30
With every joint a wound and that tomorrow. AENEAS
We know each other well. DIOMEDES
We do, and long to know each other worse. PARIS
This is the most despiteful gentle greeting,
The noblest hateful love, that e’er I heard of. 35
To Aeneas. What business, lord, so early? | On a street in Troy, Aeneas meets up with Paris and his posse of Trojan leaders, along with Diomedes, a Greek leader. Aeneas greets Paris by saying something like "Hey, if I had a girl like Helen in my bed, I wouldn't be out here prowling the streets of Troy." Then Aeneas turns to the Greek Diomedes, and the two guys exchange some friendly banter about how funny it is that they're always trying to hunt down and kill each other on the battlefield. LOL! Paris declares that this little display is the "noblest hateful love" he's ever witnessed. Translation: they're totally frenemies. |
AENEAS
I was sent for to the King, but why I know not. PARIS
His purpose meets you. ’Twas to bring this Greek
To Calchas’ house, and there to render him,
For the enfreed Antenor, the fair Cressid. 40
Let’s have your company, or, if you please,
Haste there before us. (Aside to Aeneas.) I constantly
believe—
Or, rather, call my thought a certain knowledge—
My brother Troilus lodges there tonight. 45
Rouse him, and give him note of our approach,
With the whole quality whereof. I fear
We shall be much unwelcome. AENEAS, aside to Paris
That I assure you.
Troilus had rather Troy were borne to Greece 50
Than Cressid borne from Troy. PARIS, aside to Aeneas
There is no help.
The bitter disposition of the time
Will have it so.—On, lord, we’ll follow you. AENEAS
Good morrow, all. 55 Aeneas exits with the Torchbearer. | Aeneas finds out that the King wants him to escort Diomedes to Calchas' house to trade Cressida for the prisoner Antenor. But Paris is afraid that they'll find Cressida in bed with Troilus, so he asks Aeneas to run ahead and warn him. Aeneas notes that Troilus would rather see Troy lose the war to Greece than lose Cressida. Sure, Paris says, it's a bummer the lovebirds have to be broken up. But that's the way it goes when you're in the middle of a nasty war. Easy for Paris to say—he started the whole thing. Anyway, Aeneas trots off to warn Troilus. |
PARIS
And tell me, noble Diomed, faith, tell me true,
Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship,
Who, in your thoughts, deserves fair Helen best,
Myself or Menelaus? DIOMEDES
Both alike. 60
He merits well to have her that doth seek her,
Not making any scruple of her soilure,
With such a hell of pain and world of charge;
And you as well to keep her that defend her,
Not palating the taste of her dishonor, 65
With such a costly loss of wealth and friends.
He, like a puling cuckold, would drink up
The lees and dregs of a flat tamèd piece;
You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins
Are pleased to breed out your inheritors. 70
Both merits poised, each weighs nor less nor more;
But he as he, the heavier for a whore. PARIS
You are too bitter to your countrywoman. DIOMEDES
She’s bitter to her country. Hear me, Paris:
For every false drop in her bawdy veins 75
A Grecian’s life hath sunk; for every scruple
Of her contaminated carrion weight
A Trojan hath been slain. Since she could speak,
She hath not given so many good words breath
As for her Greeks and Trojans suffered death. 80 PARIS
Fair Diomed, you do as chapmen do,
Dispraise the thing that they desire to buy.
But we in silence hold this virtue well:
We’ll not commend that not intend to sell.
Here lies our way. 85 They exit. | Paris asks Diomedes who he thinks deserves Helen more: him or Menelaus? Diomedes replies that both men deserve her because they're willing to fight over a "whore" who isn't worth the loss of money and soldiers. Ouch. Paris thinks Diomedes is too bitter toward Helen, and we really have to agree. But Diomedes doesn't stop there. He refers to Helen as "contaminated carrion" (diseased, rotting flesh) and says she's not worth the lives that have been lost fighting over who should get to have her. Um, we have to ask: how much of a choice did Helen really have? Paris agrees to disagree, and they head off to Calchas' house to collect Cressida. |