ShmoopTube

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[Dino and Coop singing]

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Take a look at this gorilla. [Gorilla eating]

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Heh, also, bet you didn't think we'd start this video with that sentence.

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Anyway, let's say you wanted to use descriptive writing to describe this gorilla to someone else.

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You might say it's “strong” or “hairy” or “smelly.” [Words appearing around the gorilla]

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But what if the person you were describing the gorilla to had never seen a gorilla in [Flies around the gorilla]

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their life before.

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They don't have any idea what a gorilla is.

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Even the word “gorilla” sounds crazy to them. [Guy holding a fork asking if it is a gorilla]

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Which is fair.

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If you say it a lot of times, it starts to sound weird.

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Gorilla gorilla gorilla gorilla…. [Guy pulls a funny face and falls over]

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Ahem.

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So even if this person tried super hard to imagine a strong, hairy, smelly animal, chances

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are pretty good that they won't come up with a gorilla.

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…Huh.

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That actually looks like our Uncle Sal… [Guy imagines a man with a white beard]

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Anyway, that's because sometimes it's hard for us to know if our descriptive writing

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is effective when we're so caught up in our own imaginations and not thinking about the [Woman describing her cat and the guy is imagining a vicious animal]

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imaginations of others.

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So how might we go about checking to see if our descriptive writing is actually effective? [Coop next to a blackboard]

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By asking someone else, of course!

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Peer editing – aka, when one of your friends or classmates provides feedback on your writing

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- is a super important part of developing strong writing skills and your voice as a

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writer.

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Your fellow students can provide you with a fresh set of eyes and a unique perspective [Students faces appearing]

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that can help point out areas in your writing where you might be able to use some stronger

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words.

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This could mean finding a better synonym for a word you might have used a few too many [Guys using a digger]

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times, using a more specific adjective to describe your noun, or helping to structure

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your sentences in an easy-to-understand way. [Guys in hard hats looking at building structures]

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And this is really helpful because sometimes, when you read your own work over and over

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again, you start to be blind to it. [Guy's work disappears off the page]

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Maybe you love the word “awesome.”

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It’s such a big and awesome part of your awesome vocabulary that you might not even

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notice when you use that same awesome word three times in a single sentence. [Lego characters appear with the Lego movie song]

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…Whoops.

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But your peer might be able to point that out and suggest you try out a few more descriptive [Girl pushes the Lego characters away]

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words.

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So if you had the sentence “The awesome caterpillar turned into an awesome butterfly

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and it was awesome," a peer might suggest, “The ambitious caterpillar turned into a [Girl brings a new sentence]

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wildly beautiful butterfly and it was breathtaking.”

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Much better!

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So as you can see, peer editing is pretty…well…awesome! [Butterfly appears and says 'awesome']

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It helps raise questions like, "what are some areas I can improve upon?" or, "what kind

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of message am I trying to communicate, and how might I better communicate that message?"

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And even, "how can I make better word choices in the future?" [Questions appearing on paper]

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And who knows?

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With the help of a good peer editor, that gorilla might stop looking like Uncle Sal

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and end up looking like…

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…..huh.

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Now he looks kinda like Uncle Morty….weird…. [Uncle Sal disappears and a new man appears]

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